More Teachers
I wonder whether teachers enter education because they're mad, or whether the kids rot your brain after a while:

Mr. C - French Teacher. Would spend an entire 2-hour lesson ranting about how much he hated golf. Once set off the fire alarm after he lobbed a pen across the classroom to demonstrate some point or other.

Mr. P - English Teacher. Totally unemotional android of a man, with an OCD-like obsession with picking up litter. This being a raucous all-boys school, there was a lot of litter to pick up. Eventually had a nervous breakdown.

Mr. L - Another English Teacher. Used to get the class to behave by saying that his father had just died. Was surprised to learn, after his fifth identical bereavement, that nobody believed him anymore.

Mrs. D - English again (what is it with English Teachers?). Patronising old hag who taught the bottom set, and treated them like 3-year-olds. She put once incident, when one boy beat another unconscious, down to "high spirits" and literally made the perpetrator stand in the corner. Didn't last much longer.

Mr. H - Music and Science teacher who made a big deal of "looking after" the kids and making sure they were happy emotionally as well as getting good grades. Turned out to be a paedophile, now in prison.

Mr. B - Stuttering alcoholic old Etonian maths teacher from a bygone age, with spats and a twirly moustache. Was so far gone that he would occasionally lapse into Latin in the middle of a lesson and not notice until it was pointed out to him.

Mr. H - Adenoidal voiced, pervy maths teacher, who owned exactly one set of clothes (suit, shirt, tie) in three colours - Brown, pink and orange. Would mix them up at random. Once turned up in Brown shoes, brown socks, brown trousers, brown shirt, brown tie and a brown jacket. Looked like he had been gripped by the head and dipped in some chocolate.

Mr W. - Chemistry Teacher. Loved chemistry a bit too much, and was in the habit of wearing his motorcycle helmet in class. Managed to accidentally set off explosions that blew out the windows of the chemistry lab three times in the time I was there.

And worst of all:

Mr. B. Rugby-obsessed History teacher and deputy head. This man *loved* rugby, and made sure we all got three hours a week, winter, spring, autumn and summer. Other sports were "for girls" and when the school thugs used it as an opportunity to stamp on the less athletic pupils in the school (such as yours truly), he said they were "soft". During his tenure, five different pupils were hospitalised with rugby-related injuries including a punctured lung. However, that was nothing compared to the injuries sustained by Mr. B himself. During the four years I was at his school, he broke both arms, one leg, two ribs, detatched both his retinas (in separate incidents) and suffered concussion twice.

He's the headmaster now. May God have mercy on his pupils' souls...
(Axeman Jim, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 13:48, 2 replies)

urgh
sports-obsessed teachers should ALL BE KILLED
(Binary Solo loves a bit of algebra, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 13:53, closed)

Mr B
sounds hard as bloody nail!
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 14:26, closed)