I got a few
in the wonderful world of Stratford upon Avon, on my way to work I often encounter a man who walks up and down the streets, singing really loudly to himself, forgot his name, but apparently he works in homebase but when hes on the job hes really quiet...

Also in Stratford, theres the Antique board man, a guy who walks up and down high street handing out flyers for the antique shop, donning an A-board and a pair of earphones, apparently hes been in the trade for many many years

The best was back when I lived in Sheffield, me and a bunch of friends were on our way home after the usual adolescent activities on a saturday, and we walked through a garden bit where a tramp man and woman were sat enjoying a bottle of el cheapo cider. The man shouts at us-
'excuse me, ya got the time!?'
'nah, sorry mate, but theres a big clock up there, why dont you just look at that?'
'BAH shurrup ya cheeky bastard, grr!!'

hes gets up making a pathetic effort to try and catch us, collapses after a few yards, gets up and sits back on the bench next to the tramp woman, and shouts-

'AND YOU CAN FUCKIN SHURRUP N ALL YA STUPID BITCH!!!'

and proceeds to beat seven shades of shit of her, the poor woman
(Lord Chode, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 18:23, 2 replies)

Why
would a tramp need to know the time?
You should have pissed on him.
( stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Sat 1 Nov 2008, 14:13, closed)

nah
he'd piss himself first
(Lord Chode, Sun 2 Nov 2008, 11:54, closed)