The Amish are going to get us.
In my creepy backwards hometown, the biggest ‘minority’ were the Amish. Our local Amish weren’t your average no-electricity-having simple-dress-wearing types, oh no, they were Xxxxtreme Amish. They only spoke German, wouldn’t speak to women, shunned cameras, wouldn’t ride in a car, only wore black…an easy summary of what these people are like can be found on Wikipedia: “Men frequently wear a single suspender to avoid what is seen as the pride of two.”

Suffice to say, these are simple folk.

Upon first visit to my friend Michelle’s house, it was quickly noted that there seemed to be an array of binoculars and notepads at their front window. I thought nothing of it, until later in the night when an Amish buggy trundled down the road. Michelle’s mother ran to post and began watching them intently, furtively scribbling in her notebook.

“The Amish are going to take over the world,” she said.
“Those Amish over there have a nuclear warhead ready and waiting in their barn,” she said.
“The beards are fake, they hide an elaborate walkie talkie system,” she said.
“Billions of dollars in gold is buried in the corn fields,” she said.
“They have spaceships and can fly around, silently spying on us,” she said.
“LAAAAAAAAAASERS!” she said.
“The farm down the road is a concentration camp, a concentration camp for people like you and me,” she said.

Hm, I guess they fund all of their apocalyptic visions by selling eggs, pies and quilts.
(TheSnark oh, c'mon, like you didn't see me coming, Mon 3 Nov 2008, 10:46, Reply)