Cherry Poppin' Banjo Daddy
Twas my first time, boxing day, years ago at a house party. I didn't care too much for the girl visually (which was all I thought counted about the opposite sex back then) but we were chatting for quite a while and without my realisation, she had moved closer to me to the point where returning with more drinks, she took her seat on my lap. Being inexperienced and consistently horny at that age, I was having fun exploring her mouth. Without further ado she led me to the bathroom where in the time it took me to adjust the lock, I turn around to find her stark naked on the floor. After realising that this was 'it' I did my best to appear the swarve, sophisticated 'experienced' gentlemen I really wasn't. It wasn't long before we realised the bathroom wasn't the right location since some inconsiderate people actually wanted to use it to 'deficate' or something, probably. After some stealth manoevers (it was a small house-party and it was pretty obvious we were the subject of conversation since I'd not met many of them before as it was my friend who had invited me to the do) we made it to the girl's bedroom.

After some really really bad fumbling on my part, I ended up actually putting it in the right place, but somewhere along the line, it had become misplaced whilst I was infinitely too horny to notice. It wasn't until a while of fumbling and noticing a distinct lack of arousal in this girls manner that I looked down to notice puddles of blood between us and on the sheets. I quickly freak out with my mind going as far as stressing for my friend who has invited some guy who has indirectly ruined some bedsheets whilst also wondering how I'm going to get to the toilet to clean myself up without getting blood on my clothes. In this little panicy moment, I hadn't considered that the blood might be mine. I had assumed fabled 'lady troubles' had taken their course like a red tsunami but after investigating my penis I noticed a tear in (what I later discovered was called) my banjo string. To tell the truth, I didn't give a shit about the tear, it was only small but I was pissed off that I was so close to losing my virginity only to get caught short.

We cleaned things up and the girl decided to tell the girl whose house it was that the blood was her fault. The rest of the night was spent kissing, drinking and chatting until the drink took its toll and everyone fell asleep. I slept on the sofa with this girl (no idea how we fit) but didn't get much sleep due to the lack of space. My mind was going spare that I had come so close, yet not come at all so after some gentle petting, I informed the girl that I was ready to go again whatever. It didn't bother me that I was in a small lounge with some bloke I'd never met, my friend and his girlfriend. I'm sure the noise woke them up, but I was too drunk / horny to care. It didn't take me long to get it over with and I went back to a drink induced snooze.

I never called the girl back since the morning after effect was stronger than I had anticipated and I really felt no physical attraction to her whatsoever. It probably caused awkward situations with my friend and this girl but it makes a heck of a story for the first time.

I recalled the whole story a couple of years later to my two best friends (one of whom was the friend in the same room when I lost it) who found it utterly hysterical and informed me of the technical term for the banjo string. To this day my friends will either do a banjo impression or make some vague inappropriate referrence to a banjo mid-conversation with people who I particularly don't want to recall the story to whilst laughing so hard that the others stare curiously wondering why a banjo could cause so much merryment.
( ma0sm, Thu 2 Sep 2004, 19:48, Reply)