Not me, my brother...
...he's the kind of guy that gets quite excited when playing computer games. Actually, no, excited isn't quite the word. More 'hysterical', and not in a funny way. Screaming is a favourite of his. And leaping up, running around the room with the controller while making strange, otherworldly utterings. Let's just say he gets very tense. So that's the background. On this particular day, he was at a friend's house playing some footy game or the other (FIFA 99?) and acting in his usual manner. Suddenly, his chance came. He had the ball, he'd made a cracking run past the defenders and only had the goalie facing him (controlled by the aforementioned friend). He shoots. He scores! Unleashing an almighty squeal of delight.

And suddenly, he's in pain where no male of the species should ever be allowed to be in pain.

He went home.

He told our mother his sack had turned purple.

She touched it (!!!!!) and it was hard.

He went to the hospital.

Turns out he'd screamed so hard he'd twisted a testicle. Genius.

He was in hospital for about three days after surgery. What made it all worthwhile was seeing our entire family, all of his mates, a good deal of my mates, all the nurses, the doctors and other people generally hanging around the ward, taking the piss. Mercilessly. Without end. My favourite quip came from my Dad. He said, "Well son, you can be farmer now." My brother (high on morphine at the time) asked why. "Because you've got a couple of ache-ers there!", he replied. Groan.

(sorry about the length, first post and got over-excited)
( mrlogic is copying your beard, Mon 6 Sep 2004, 12:57, Reply)