Beware of Russians bearing vodka
I was working with this girl and our swearing at work was starting to get out of hand, so we instituted a swear jar. About a month later I resigned from the job there was enough money in the jar for a bottle of vodka (the girl in question was Russian as well).

So we buy the bottle, and head back to my place to drink. My master plan to get her a little drunk and then take advantage of her. I didn't realise but it was also her master plan to get me drunk to take advantage of me.

In half an hour between us, we drank an entire bottle of vodka, as we kept trying to make the other drunker.

Queue passing out in bed together (after both of us had spewed up in different bathrooms).

Being the gentleman that I was, I had put my right arm around her before passing out.

The next morning I found I couldn't move my hand at all. I would try telling my wrist to move, nothing. Didn't think too much of it, thought it would get better on it's own. It didn't. Since this happened at Easter, all the doctor's were shut, so I took myself off to
the hospital emergency room. After telling my story on how it happened to the triage nurse ("Got drunk with this Russian girl, I now can't move my hand"), he thought the story was so funny, I got bumped to the top of the queue.
There's blokes complaining of chest pains, guys who have been beaten up lying in a pool of blood, and I get to go in first.

I tell the doctor, he can't work out what was wrong, so he gets his boss. His boss asks me how fat the girl was. Turns out because I was so drunk, I didn't notice my arm going to sleep, so didn't move. Pinched the nerves in the wrist. I couldn't use my hand for 6 weeks, and worked out the rest of my notice without telling anyone how I had done it (apart from the girl in question).
(Kaer, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 3:02, Reply)