In which drugs are bad and coppers are amused
Had a party round mine years back, based on the key ingredients of brown microdots and an Ozric Tentacles CD. Don't judge me; the past is a foreign country, they do things differently there. Anyway, the "highlight" of the album is a track called Abduction. Cue us lot milling about dementedly in the garden shouting about having been abducted.
The excitement subsides a few hours later, and a few of us are sat down trying to smoke our way into oblivion.
Knock knock at the door. Oh fuck, it's either the neighbours or the police. I peer round the the curtain, and there's three big chaps in suits. Police, then. One mate sticks his spliff in the microwave, another throws his stash out of the catflap. Deep breath and I open the door.
"Stay exactly where you fucking are, nobody move"
Biggest copper has his hand inside his jacket, finger on the trigger. Another is on the radio.
"Can we have confirmation on the object thrown from the door?"
"Fuck all, area secure"
"Stand down lads"
Apparently there are several coppers with rifles trained on the back door. A couple get up from behind the neighbour's wall. Dressed in black, Heckler and Koched right up. Nice one, I'm terrified and tripping.
They hustle me inside, sit me down and ask in no uncertain terms -
"So, who's been abducted then?"

Turns out a girl had gone missing locally. Watford's top copper and the armed response unit for Hertfordshire quickly established that we were "a bunch of silly cunts" and took my explanation of being tipsy at face value. Still, I had to present myself at Watford police station the next day, armed only with a copy of "Abduction" on CD as mitigating evidence. The coppers on duty were highly amused, some making pew pew noises and gun fingers as I walked down the corridor to the interview room. Went home, opened the microwave, sparked up and decided I'd stick to taking massive drugs in the safety of nightclubs from then on.
(woocfot friends with Sacha Distel, Fri 17 May 2013, 1:05, 18 replies)

I like your old stuff better than your new stuff.
*click*
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 17 May 2013, 1:21, closed)

alright

(woocfot friends with Sacha Distel, Fri 17 May 2013, 1:23, closed)

I think it was actually Eat Static and not Ozric Tentacles
don't judge me! it was a long time ago!
(Ol' Ginger Bastard a role model for the children, Fri 17 May 2013, 6:11, closed)

this is correct.
abduction was eat static. (says the lady waiting for 'live underslunky' to turn up from amazon)...
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 17 May 2013, 6:48, closed)

yup eat static the dancy dancy arm of ozric tentacles
both blow your mind when on psychedelics it's their raison d'etre

I saw ozric tentacles at a festival under the influence of a serious trip

took me ages to work out the reason I was feeling so incredibly weird was because of the music and that was only because they'd stopped.
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Fri 17 May 2013, 9:27, closed)

i had a really, really bad acid trip with ozrics as the soundtrack. bastards.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 17 May 2013, 9:30, closed)

I bumped in to Normski after they'd finnished
remember him?

I laughed hystericaly in his face

sorted me right out
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Fri 17 May 2013, 11:36, closed)

I went to see Ozric Tentacles in Islington about three months ago.
I am not ashamed.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 May 2013, 8:51, closed)

Stick to Caravan.
Nobody ever got shot by the Sweeney for babbling about golf girls.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 17 May 2013, 8:55, closed)

That's great LP and I will fight* anyone who claims otherwise.


*argue heatedly with
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 May 2013, 8:59, closed)

the land of grey and pink!

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 17 May 2013, 9:31, closed)

*nose/point*
Great sleeve art too
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 May 2013, 9:34, closed)

i've just ordered that and 'erpland' by ozrics on amazon.
oh hello, free festival scene in the early 90s!
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 17 May 2013, 9:40, closed)

I used to buy their stuff in the 80s when it was all on cassette only.
Live Ethereal Cereal is their best, I think it's on CD now


edit yes it is
www.discogs.com/Ozric-Tentacles-Live-Ethereal-Cereal/release/2577566
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 May 2013, 9:51, closed)

Bunch of hippy cunts.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 17 May 2013, 10:19, closed)

That would be very difficult to argue against.
I was stood behind their flute player at a Gong gig (I know, I know) and he fucking REEKED.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 May 2013, 10:20, closed)

nowt wrong with gong.
i was a crusty in the 90s. lived in a lorry, dog on a string, the whole shebang. happy days.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 17 May 2013, 10:44, closed)

I bet we have mutual friends

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 May 2013, 13:15, closed)

I'm quite fond of stinking hippy cunts.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:21, closed)