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This is a question The Emergency Services

Tell us your tales of the police, ambulance workers, firefighters, and - dammit - the coastguard

(, Thu 16 May 2013, 11:33)
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In common with every second cove one meets now-a-days I have a peanut allergy.
A single nut could kill me. By following scientifically proven homeopathic principles I've discovered that a second peanut provides a perfect antidote to the first. I keep track by shouting POISON and CURE as each nut is ingested.

Over the years I've saved the NHS millions by using this simple technique, though I have been banned from every cinema in the county.

I am my own best doctor!
(, Fri 17 May 2013, 8:07, 6 replies)
Peanut allergies are just Mother Nature's way of telling 'sufferers' that they should have been aborted.
See also: Asthma, gluten allergies, wheat allergies, milk allergies et al.
(, Fri 17 May 2013, 8:20, closed)
I chortled.

(, Fri 17 May 2013, 8:54, closed)

(, Fri 17 May 2013, 9:02, closed)
"though I have been banned from every cinema in the county"
(, Fri 17 May 2013, 9:31, closed)
I enjoyed reading this.

(, Fri 17 May 2013, 10:20, closed)
If you were following homeopathic principles
wouldn't you alternate each peanut ("POISON") with a sip of water ("CURE") or maybe a watermelon ("I DON'T KNOW, IT SOUNDED BETTER IN MY HEAD")
(, Fri 17 May 2013, 10:54, closed)

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