Evil father related tomfoolery
My Dad is a notorious prankster and takes no prisoners when it comes to sadistic japes in the workplace. Oddly enough, he suffers total sense of humour failure when the tables are turned though. I digress.

Back in the 70s, he was working in a drawing office for a large engineering company in Tottenham Court Road, designing bits of oil rigs. The draughtsmen were a real mixed bunch who knew how to play hard, so a new manager was hired to ensure the job was done with the minimum of distraction.

One afternoon, this manager's secretary was asked to go out and purchase some pile ointment, as the chap's Badminton Horse Trials were giving him some gyp. This piece of information was invaluable to the rest of the staff, who realised why the manager was encumbered with such a distinctive walk.

The japery did not stop at Rockford Files esque jokes in the office however. One morning, said manager was called up to a board meeting.

His office drawer was picked open with a paperclip and the tube of Anusol was removed. The tube itself was emptied out by uncrinkling the folded end and the soothing bum ointment was poured into the sink. A second tube was produced and the contents squeezed into the Anusol, which was then resealed in the office drawer and locked away safely.

An hour later, the manager appears briefly in the office, is seen to retrieve something from his locked desk drawer and disappears in the direction of the gents...

3.... 2.... 1....

A barely audible noise was heard coming from the toilets, that sounded suspiciously like a muffled "GaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!".

Twenty minutes later the bloke emerged from the karzy with a reddened complexion and a sweaty brow. He was shuffling with a distinct mincing movement, pausing every now and again to clutch at his tortured Lever Arch Files with a pained expression on his face when he assumed noone was looking.

Turned out my evil father had refilled the Anusol with Sloans Heat Rub.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 13 Dec 2007, 15:54, Reply)