Och. See you Jimmeh!
Back when i was younger, my mother used to own a hotel in Blackpool. To cut a long intro short, the holiday trade went down the pan so she started taking in students from the local college.

Well there was this one guy, Scottish and probably the whiniest, whingiest, complainingist Nuck Fuggit you could ever wish to meet. He would complain about everything, from the wrong kind of tiolet roll in the bathroom to one of the chips being slightly over brown on the edges.

Well, me and my mother had had enough of his incessant griping so we asked him one day if he would like Haggis for dinner (on account of he had spent the whole day going on and on about how great it was in Scotland) So my mother sent me out to buy a durex and a large can of Pedigree Chum (or indeed any other top selling dog food) I then proceeded to stuff the contents of the can of dog food into the durex until I had built up a nice large round and strangely appetizing haggis.

Into a bowl of water over a pan of boiling water it went (So as not to burst the latex on the hot pan) and 20 mins later out comes one very convincing haggis, which my mother happily served to him(After episodes of complaining that dinner was taking it's time).

30 or so minutes later the plate comes back to the kitchen, empty.

Unfortunately I was not there when one of the other residents told him what he had actually eaten. Would have loved to see his expression.

Needles to say, there were no more complaints from him and he moved out about 3 weeks later.


Length? Trojan
(Phoenixx1973 Will be campaigning for the "Vote Saxon" party., Thu 13 Dec 2007, 18:18, Reply)