Another one from Uni
There were 10 guys on the ground floor - and 2 floors of 10 girls above us - Life was good.

Anyhow, a couple of the girls were incredibly naive (to be kind) or dumb (to be honest), and they accepted me and my mate as being the worldly-wise pair that we were because we were a whole year older and had been travelling in our gap years.

This meant that we could tell them anything, and as long as we spoke with an air of gravitas, they'd believe us.

We got some absolute corkers in there - I'm still amazed at how we came up with half of it. Things like 'the origin of american football was from the prohibition years - one year there was a riot and someone pulled a policeman's head off and started throwing it around'. They lapped it up - hook line and sinker.

My favourite one was when I told one of the girls in a very matter of fact way that when men sit on the toilet, we have to sit facing the cistern, so that our dangly bits don't risk getting caught between the seat and the porcelain.

It was amusing enough in itself, but by sheer luck we happened to walk past her one day when she was chatting to a bloke she really fancied, and she asking him about it. The look on his face was priceless.

My piece de resistance however duped the girls and my partner in crime all at the same time.

They were all city folk, and had no idea what the countryside was all about, and it was around the same time as the League of Gentlemen was on TV. I grew up in a small village in Warwickshire, and we decided to spend a weekend there at my parents place.

Once we arrived, we decided to visit the local 'country pub'. On the walk over the road (I said it was a small village) I explained to them about John, the barman.

I knew he'd be there, so I knew this would work. I explained to them that the tall guy with the beard was a little unhinged, and he had a weird 'thing'. Basically - whatever you - DO NOT look him in the eye. He goes mad and starts smashing all of the bottles and glasses behind the bar. All of the locals know not to do it, so just be really careful.

Cue me walking in and ordering my drink, then watching each of them in turn trying to ask this guy for a pint whilst staring over his shoulder or at his chest.

Oh how I laughed at them after we got home.

City folk, eh.
( HoratioFellatio Taking the the out of psychotherapist, Fri 14 Dec 2007, 3:21, Reply)