Funnily enough I judt did this one today before I even knew what the new QOTW was:)
As some of you know and as most probably dont, I am self employed and work from a home office. 90% of the time I am at home working (along fucking about here;) co-ordinating sub contractors, ordering goods along with a whole heap of boring shit that I even wont bother to mention (dont worry, just setting the scene here guys, read on). The other 10% of my time is usually client meetings which usually means a only few hours of the day are spent away from the office. My wifey has recently closed her business and come to work with me, so naturally she has become accustomed to my routine. However, with christmas rapidly approaching and trade resources being stretched I have decided to go out on site and assist my sub contractors to accelerate projects, this means wifey takes all calls and refers anything urgent to me via mobile phone.
So, cue me going to a local site this morning having worked for a few hours and realising I need another tool from home. 5 minutes later I pull up in the driveway and my phone rings, it is wifey with some messages. Usually if either of us are near home, we dont bother answering and just discuss whatever it is within the next few minutes when we see each other at home. But today for some reason I answered the phone in the driveway and talked as if I was on site, taking messages, usual small talk etc etc...
As I approached the house (about 80m walk from driveway) something in my mind decided to tell wifey... "Oh, by the way hon, I have just heard that there is some freak just walking into places around [insert local suburbs here] harassing people"
wifey: "where did you hear that?"
me: "Some guys up here (work site) were just telling me, been happening a bit apparently"
Wifey:"Shiiit, I might just lock the door to be safe then!"
At this point, I think to myself "bah! I'll get down there and she will be still at the desk, and will lock the door next time she gets up if she does it at all. I'll just open the door jum in and say "SURPRISE FREAK! JUST THOUGHT I'D DROP IN!!!"
But no, she did take it quite seriously and actualy feared for her safety. As I got to the door (about 5 seconds after I mentioned the "freak") I could hear the keys fumbling at the lock. She dropped them. I turned the handle. Cue her forcing the door back against me as I am saying "ITS JUST ME HON!"
"WHO IS IT!!! GO AWAY!!!!" was the only repeated response I could get.
I actually had to force my head throught the door to settle her down.

She shat herself so much that our pet bird that was on her shoulder flew down to the lounge room and hid under the lounge! Poor wifey was on the verge of hyperventilating.

Thank fuck she has a sense of humour. Still, I dont like my chances of being forgiven for that one.
( Sir Pigeon Nipples Did you sit in some sugar?, Fri 14 Dec 2007, 11:43, Reply)