One week before my wedding
I sent a text message to my wife's best friend:

"I think we should talk. I need to know I am not making a massive mistake. I must know that there is no chance for us, before it is too late."

I then passed the (shared) telephone to my wife whenever she called, with a comment along the lines of 'Oh, Jim's here, you'd better talk to her'.

Eventually she called me on the Thursday when I was at the reception venue delivering the cake.

"Hi, Manley, do we need to talk?"

I managed about 30 seconds with Matthewparker, my best man, pulling stupid faces before I broke down into laughter.

It was cruel in hindsight, but at least I know that Charlie can keep a secret, eh? My only regret is that it didn't go into church. I'd love to have watched her face at the 'Speak now or forever hold your peace' juncture.
( LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Sat 15 Dec 2007, 14:51, 2 replies)

Please help out the dimwits among us...
Your wife is called Jim? Or else, eh? Who's who?
(misanthrope is so adjective he's verbing nouns!, Mon 17 Dec 2007, 14:28, closed)

Very confusing.
I have no idea who is who in that story.
(Musuko, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 18:02, closed)