Ok. this is going to be a bit long, but I need to get it right...
I used to work with a guy called Glaston, and along with another colleague we were in a band.

Glaston booked a rehearsal studio round the corner from work, but before we had a chance to use it found a better one and booked that too.

We told him to cancel the first one but he didn't... so one morning I concocted a letter from the first studio on their headed paper (which was actually just their logo downloaded from the net) explaining that since he'd failed to cancel, he owed the £43 for the studio, plus late cancellation fee, legal charges, interest etc. The total bill came to about £225 I think. There was also a paragraph saying "DO NOT contact the studio about this; the matter has been passed to our legal department and the studio staff are not allowed to discuss the case with you". He had to contact a lady called Helen, and a phone number was provided (my mobile number).

Glaston walked into the office a few minutes later and I handed him the letter, saying it had been delivered by courier and I'd just signed for it. Reading it, as you can imagine he went ballistic, and stormed around the place shouting about how it was bollocks and £200 was taking the piss.

Everyone convinced him in the end that he couldn't leave it as it was a legal matter and the letter had been signed for, so he'd have to ring them and see if he could do a deal.

At lunchtime, he disappeared upstairs in the warehouse, and shortly afterwards my mobile rang. Sure enough it was Glaston so, putting on the most ridiculous Australian accent you've ever heard I answered, giving the name of the "Legal Firm". In a tiny voice, Glaston asked to speak to Helen whereupon I told him she was at lunch, so could I take his number and I'd get her to call him back. I was struggling so hard not to laugh, I can't believe he hadn't twigged it was me.

Anyway, a couple of minutes later we all piled upstairs to where Glaston was sitting with his head in his hands, presumably thinking about how skint he'd be without that £200.

Amongst a chorus of "What happened?" and "Have you got to pay it?" I gently enquired "What did the Australian guy say?".

Glaston looked at me and slowly, oh so slowly, realisation dawned in his eyes as he thought it through and realised that I shouldn't know it had been an Australian guy...

"You cunt" was all he said, but he did actually take it really well (and see the funny side) once he'd thought it through. That moment though of the light switching on his eyes as he realised will always stay with me as one of those perfect moments =)
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Mon 17 Dec 2007, 10:00, Reply)