Back in the days when I was in the fire protection industry.....
I had assumed a position as workshop/service manager for a local fire protection firm (extingushers, supression systems etc). Part of my position was to train a 17yo trianee.
One of my favourite pranks on him was sending him for a walk down the road to purchase a 2kg can of food grade petroleum jelly (we used this to lubricate "O rings" used in valves for suppression systems and extinguishers) along with an official purchase order. I printed and folded the order in half passed it to him and sent him on his merry way.
What should have been a 10 minute round trip resulted in him showing up 1/2 an hour looking flustered and red in the face.
"What the fuck took you so long!?" was my greeting.
"FUCK YOU!" he replies, shaking his head.
"Whats the fucking problem? I gave you the order, they have it on the shelf, it should not take that long to get a fucking tub of Vaso!" (vaso= petroleum jelly).
"you're a cunt!" is all he had to respond with.
Me:"Well what is the fucking problem?"
"Well, I handed over the order, asked for what you wanted. They had to call the manager down from his office to check the order, then they called the sales rep down. The sales rep had to call the storeman. The storeman had to then fax the order off to the suppliers to see if it was correct. then they gave me the goods along with the invoice and a copy of this order along with your purchase order which I read on the way back YOU CUNT!"

Did I forget to mention that I wrote:
"DO NOT SHAKE THIS GUYS HAND UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE!" in the "spcial instructions" part of the order.

Top young bloke, still calls me to this day for a chit chat and maintains that I am the best boss he ever had even though I was an absoloute cunt.

Bless ya Brody, you were a fucking legend to work with.
( Sir Pigeon Nipples Did you sit in some sugar?, Tue 18 Dec 2007, 7:21, Reply)