stubby the lonely thumb
a mate of mine does close up magic for corporate team building events - one of his props are realistic looking plastic thumb tips that slip over your own (you can make silk hankies vanish etc). he dishes these out to clients. one evening while making dinner i came across a 'thumb' at the back of a cupboard. i am somewhat renowned for my proper chefs knives that are razor sharp and i can chop with at a furious rate. you can see where this is going - i packed the end of the thumb with a chicken bone and some stringy bits then a quick blob ketchup and layed it on the chopping block. another generous blob on the my 'servered thumb' (top of thumb folded over into fist completed the scene). a burst of my familar loud rapid chopping with my biggest cleaver then some horrible screaming had my poor missus in like a shot - fair play to her she kept her head and went into first aid mode - elevating the arm, looking for frozen peas. the look on her face when she turned round from the freezer and gave her a big cheesy grin and did the macartney thumbs aloft pose was priceless.
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Tue 18 Dec 2007, 15:19, 2 replies)

I spent many years working in a meat factory.
I used to to stuff the finger of a latex glove with meat, and place it on the line on a regular basis.

This joke took retirement after a woman fainted, and was hospitalised after bouncing her head off the floor.
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Tue 18 Dec 2007, 21:01, closed)

OMG
"did the macartney thumbs aloft pose"

Awesome - I hate that twat, and especially the "Heyyyy, im macca, yeahhhh, heyy, crazy pose, heyyyy"

Kinda pics like these

www.hecklerspray.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/07/paul%20mccartney%20space.jpg

www.pr-inside.com/images/pics/pr-inside-25127-paul-mccartney.jpg
(steh30, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 0:16, closed)