Grand Prix drivers of the 60s
These guys took the biscuit... Grand Prix drivers of the Graham Hill / Jim Clark era had a life expectancy of about eighteen races. Virtually every race was marred by Senna-esque tragedy of the most horrific kind as safety standards were non existent. Most drivers didn't bother with seat belts as it was better to be thrown from a crashing car than die in the inevitable fire.

Not surprisingly, they knew a thing or two about bad behaviour. The urge to party like it's going to be your last day on Earth is helped by the fact that that you're getting a tour of some of the most glamorous places in Europe.

A bunch of drivers spent the Saturday after qualifying at Monaco wearing their best drinking trousers around the pool of an expensive hotel. An argument ensues as to whether headlights work underwater. This is solved when one of the pissed drivers obtains a Hertz hire car and promptly drives it into the hotel pool with the lights on.

During the Nurburgring race, a particularly efficient German hotel manager was reduced to tears when he discovered that several drivers had conspired to smuggle a Volkswagen Beetle unseen into the five star establishment in bits and had reassembled it at the top of the main staircase prior to checking out.

Suitcases have been thrown out of helicopters, expensive car parts have either gone missing or been sabotaged, drivers have even admitted to turning up for races still under the influence.

Funniest has to be the team manager of Lotus, who was entrusted with the entry fee for the Monaco race. All went well until he was distracted by a casino and spunked the lot in one evening. There was said to be a very embarrassed hush when said team manager was trying to explain where he had lost £25k.

[edited for typo at the behest of pedants. Bastards]
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 18 Dec 2007, 15:33, 12 replies)

"he was distracted by a casio and spunked the lot in one evening"
That was one expensive calculator! Or was it a digital watch? Or perhaps a home keyboard.

/facetious mode
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 18 Dec 2007, 15:36, closed)

"he was distracted by a casio"
Yeah, those digital watches were well expensive back in the early days...

//EDIT: Too slow.
( reallywittyname veraciously conspues lexiphanicism on, Tue 18 Dec 2007, 15:39, closed)

hahaha
gets a click from me
( Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Tue 18 Dec 2007, 15:53, closed)

.
I always find it remarkable that none of these "reassemble a car in a hotel/bedroom/etc" tales ever even hint at how to dissemble and reassemble the chassis, which is of course just about as big as a fully assembled car even when completely stripped...
(misanthrope is so adjective he's verbing nouns!, Tue 18 Dec 2007, 16:17, closed)

*click*
Good stuff.
( mr_wicksy is.... old., Tue 18 Dec 2007, 16:22, closed)

the briefcase/helicopter incident was the early 90's
Gerhard Berger was a notorious prankster, so when Ayrton Senna showed him his new "bombproof" carbon fibre and titanium suitcase on a flight home after a race, Berger grabbed it and chucked it out of the window!

The pair of them also got their boss Ron Dennis into trouble by stealing his passport in Adelaide airport and gluing a hairy gash shot from a porno mag over the photo.......


mr misanthrope has evidently never dismantled a VW Beetle or a mini

( Ralph farts in your general direction, Tue 18 Dec 2007, 16:29, closed)

reassembly
A Volkswagen Beetle has a separate bodyshell / floorpan, the latter bolts together from several components.

The bodyshell once stripped of everything which bolts onto it may well be manageable enough to get through a set of double doors.

Next b3ta bash might be a great opportunity to test this out.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 18 Dec 2007, 16:30, closed)

Reassembling a car
No idea how they do it, but a British artist did the very same thing back in the 90s (if my memory serves me).

Maybe there are certain makes of cars which are little more than Lego under the bonnet. If so, can someone tell me please, I'd far rather have a car that I can reassemble into something else when I fancy.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 18 Dec 2007, 16:31, closed)

La Pouletmadame
Volkswagen Beetles are great for that, they're unusual in that the body bolts to the floor of the car. They're lighter than they look too.

[edit - D'oh! 2cv, why didn't I think of that one?]
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 18 Dec 2007, 16:35, closed)

Not just Beetles
But also Citroen 2CVs, which can be taken apart into manageable chunks with little more than a 13mm spanner.

I know someone who (so he tells me) did this and reassembled it in his university students' union bar!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 18 Dec 2007, 16:35, closed)

Chickenlady
I think you need a Citroen C4 which, according to the adverts, will transform into a bipedal, robotic beast in seconds.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 18 Dec 2007, 16:36, closed)

Or a 1970s era Afa Romeo
Which will, before your very eyes transform into a gritty, ferrous heap at the slightest hint of moisture.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 18 Dec 2007, 16:39, closed)