Off topic...
Okay so this one isn't really a prank and probably should've gone in the 'best insults' QOTW a while back instead, but I only just remembered it (due to a reference in an earlier post).

I was working in a large office in London, a lowly Staff Writer on a magazine. One of our sales team was this horrifically Sloany bint (we'll call her Patsy, not to protect her identity but because I honestly can't remember her name). She was quite attractive, decent figure, but unlike most of my male colleagues I harboured no romantic designs on her because I was quite aware that I stood more chance of growing a second cock than I did of ever getting into her knickers: I was paid about ten times too little, didn't drive a Porsche and hadn't been to public school. Also, she was a stuck-up, self-obsessed tart who'd drown if you showed her a mirror at the bottom of a swimming pool. Not my type.

So while many around me fawned over her, I delighted in taking the piss whenever and wherever the opportunity arose. My crowning moment came at the office Christmas bash, held at a small but very exclusive and expensive restaurant in Knightsbridge.

A bunch of us were already there and drinking when Patsy waltzed in, having gone home to change into something more suitable for the evening. She was wearing a full-length coat, made of some sort of white fur-effect material. She came straight over to us, did a twirl, and asked,

"Hello, do you like my new coat? It's Armani."

Now, I know nothng whatsoever about fashion. But it so happened that the evening before I'd seen an episode of Absolutely Fabulous and for some reason a line of dialogue had stuck with me. So, not really knowing what it meant (or even if was true) but just that it was some sort of insult, I replied,

"Yeah, but only Emporio."

(apparently it's a cheaper Armani brand...whatever). She deflated visibly for a heartbeat, then tried again,

"But darling, look at it, isn't it gorgeous?"

"No," I replied, "it makes you look like a tampon."

Oddly enough, she avoided me for the rest of the evening.
( reallywittyname veraciously conspues lexiphanicism on, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 14:55, 3 replies)

To a girl who's into fashion
that's a pretty amazing insult.
(clumsyeloquence is a girl, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 17:06, closed)

Great insult!
I hope I remember it, should the need arise.
(lordy lordy, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 18:10, closed)

Not really a prank...
... just comparing someone to a sanitary device.

However, I lol'd.
(MJPerry was crude but clickable at, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 21:17, closed)