Pleasure, but where's the pain?
A good few years back, on the cusp of when Jeccy was ventering to night clubs, a few of us were going out for a few drinks to celebrate a friends engagement. His flat mate (whom I shall call "AL", to protect the innocent) was there too, and we along with a few friends decided to move on into town. Now AL was well known for being a fanny magnet. He was literally amazing at pulling the birds, all of whom would flock to be his woman on day 1, and migrate to the south by day 3 as he tended to quite seriously treat them with no respect whatsoever. This guy looking back at it was very similar to Quagmire from Family Guy. Christ, that's uncanny.

Anyhows, after a short taxi ride we're all piling into a night club and we surely get hammered. I kinda lose track of all the lads (including AL) and bump into a nice young lady, who introduces me to her flat mate. After various bits of frollocking (if there is such a word) I end up back at their place and engage in a very pissed 3-some, like cha-ching :D

The next morning I stumble out with a giant grin on me face. I cop a lift off one to town and bus it over to ALs, smiling like a retarded Cheshire Cat. He's there, but looking very sheepish.
"What's up AL? How'd last night go?" I grin.
"Errrr....you know that nightclub we got hammered in?"
"Oh yes! We is going there again, fucking right we are!" says I, grinning like a mong with an ice-cream.
"No we're not. We are definately not."
"Why, what happened?"
"I.....errrr.....fucked the barman."
"Gerrin there.......what?"

He'd made the expensive mistake of getting uber-pist and blindly testing his sexuality, which he just so slightly regretted the next morning.

Turns out, me the nerd gets the pleasure, and AL got the pain. Right up his arse.

ps this post aint anti-gay, just some decisions like that should be left for the sober to make lol
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Tue 30 Oct 2007, 14:55, 12 replies)

Yeah! right!
I'm sorry but no completely heterosexual guy would have sex with another guy, pissed as a fart or otherwise, unless the urge was there to start with.
( girlinthehole, Tue 30 Oct 2007, 15:07, closed)

Gotta agree with BGB.
I'm pretty open minded about sex, but no matter how drunk I've gotten I would never go that particular route, as it's just not one that appeals to me.

I'd say that the next time AL wants to experiment he should make sure he has plenty of lube on hand first...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 30 Oct 2007, 15:11, closed)

can i just say
that reading the phrase "grinning like a mong with an ice cream" gave me an almost indecent amount of pleasure...
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 30 Oct 2007, 15:27, closed)

hmm, ...
so did his hetero-index:

(a) increase after that night, because he was more sure than ever he wasn't gay;

or

(b) decrease, because he'd just shagged a bloke.
(haberman is singing in the changes, Tue 30 Oct 2007, 15:30, closed)

@BGB: I dunno
I have a mate who will shag anything that moves. He's a 90% heterosexual kind of guy, but sometimes ends up copping off with chaps too. He has absoultely no inhibitions or morals and usually tells me all about it when we meet. I'm pretty sure he's not gay, he's just greedy.
( chart cat has an itch, Tue 30 Oct 2007, 15:56, closed)

@chart cat
Leads me to wonder which is looser- his morals or his bowels...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 30 Oct 2007, 16:03, closed)

Chart cat!
He's bi - no two ways about it - if he tells you anything else than he's a liar. Some bi's are a bit more fussy and some just are sex maniacs.
( girlinthehole, Tue 30 Oct 2007, 16:08, closed)

I've got a mate
who's not fussy about which gender he takes to bed.

Thing is, he can pull women a hundred times better than I can. So I think he is just being greedy!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 30 Oct 2007, 16:39, closed)

Re: completely heterosexual -
is there such a thing?

Don't you know most guys with a hard-on will usually follow it through to a conclusion, say yes to anything to get there and worry about the consequences later - usually immediately following deflation ;o)
(jmaxi returned again on, Tue 30 Oct 2007, 16:43, closed)

@ Chart Cat;
90% Heterosexual? Wouldn't it be unlucky if the other 10% was your cock :D
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Tue 30 Oct 2007, 16:46, closed)

@Jeccy
While we were at Uni together he tried several times to get me to come back with him and the girl he'd pulled that night for a bit of late-night threes-up fun. Knowing what he was like though, I always refused. The M:F ratio was all wrong and, as he later admitted, he was only trying it on so he could get me naked and "cop a feel" (and probably a taste too... the dirty sod)

Admittedly I was quite flattered -- guys don't do it for me, but it's always nice to know someone else finds you attractive.
( chart cat has an itch, Tue 30 Oct 2007, 17:11, closed)

@Chart Cat
Tis always nice to receive a compliment, but having someone nice say it compared to a tramp say it is a no-contest lol

This story was a bit odd for me as I've always held myself in very low esteem ie I thought I was a dobber, even though I wasn't at the time. Am now though lol :(

*looks at self in mirror*
*sulks*
*eats cookie*
*puts clothes back on*
*glares at other work colleagues around the office*
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Tue 30 Oct 2007, 17:19, closed)