Toilet disposal anarchy
Greetings b3tans,

During a cleaning spree of the upstairs floor of Chateau De La Panteneman, there were bags and bags of stuff to be thrown out. I had really been very thorough indeed. Especially with the vacuum cleaner, cleaning areas around the house on a pedantic level where you wouldn’t even notice or be arsed. I vacuum cleaned the mattresses too. It was quite amazing the dust that can be dragged out of those things. Why I did this was because Lady Pantenewoman crashed over at my gaff and is allergic to everything (pollen, dust, lampposts, paving slabs…ok, a slight exaggeration but you get my drift).

As a consequence, the Dyson needed frequent emptying, which to be frank was getting to be a pain in the arse. Walking downstairs with bags of dust and random crap to dispose. And then I had a disturbing brainwave.

I reckoned that the contents of the vacuum cleaner could be neatly flushed down the toilet. This in theory would save me a job and speed up the task of cleaning no end. I often scrape food from plates down the toilet as a form of waste disposal, carefully doing it when the flush has started, so it goes straight down. This, I have got to an art form. After all, it’s food that hasn’t been processed by the human body, so why shouldn’t it go down the toilet?

So, I promptly decide to empty the vacuum cleaner down the toilet in mid flush, as I do with surplus food from meal times very much like a garbage disposal machine.

You guessed right, it failed.

Dust, you see, when it hits water becomes a horrid sludgy dense mass that can’t be flushed. It flushed ok for a couple of seconds, and then the toilet bowl started rising rapidly. Panicking about flooding the place, I swiftly delved my hand in taking out chunks of sodden dust clumps until the toilet returned to a normal level and flushed properly into a bucket that was in the bathroom.

Conclusion:
Use toilets for bodily waste only. The contents of a vacuum cleaner don’t flush.
(Panteneman Isn't entirely sure why he bothered on, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 22:54, 2 replies)

Why not take the bin upstairs instead?
Also, flushing waste food just seems bizarre and alien to me.
( Thinker, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 23:48, closed)

See Also:
Pick n' Mix.

I usually flush soup down the toilet if it's chunky stuff.
(Cryptoprocta has abandoned the username of Voodoo Mary, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 11:25, closed)