Perhaps I Am A Viable Candidate For Trepanning?
I write freelance for magazines (part-time, now that I've reproduced and stuff) and as a result my brain is full of weird little free-floating bubbles of expertise in extremely boring and/or obscure things I've had occasion to research and write an article or twelve about. Want to know about comparative costs per head of Planned Parenthood programs vs. putting knocked-up teenagers on welfare? I'm your girl. I can also tell you more than you ever wanted to know before lunch about the exact symptoms of various diseases, and what really happens when you get HIV. (Hint: you don't expire all cinematically like a 40's movie, becoming more ethereal as you go. It's even more disgusting than most people realize. Needless to say, let's be careful out there, shall we?) Insane American religions who think Jesus is coming back next week sometime and choose to commemorate same by rolling around on the floor frothing at the mouth? Check. Also for some reason I know an awfully lot about the sinking of the Titanic.

Oh, and I type over 100 words per minute, I can change a diaper with a cast on one hand and I make the best pot roast ever. (The secret is to put it - the roast, not the diaper - in a plastic bag and beat the shit out of it with a hammer before you marinade. Mmmm! Tool-alicious!)
(RedQueen, Fri 24 Jun 2005, 16:52, Reply)