Door to Door Religon sales.
I used to think I was a pro at winding these people up...

Annoying people (AP) "hello, I'm Elder Jones and this is Elder Griffiths"
Humpty (H): Holy Crap!! You've got the same name and the same suit!! What's the chances of that eh?? Must be a miracle. etc.

AP: No, you must not resucitate the clinicly dead: it's against God's will.
H: So when Elijah performed CPR on that kid, He condemned himself to hell??

I had few retorts, and even less knowledge of the bible.. I habitually resorted to rudeness to get rid of them.

Enter John: Quite litterally the son of a Preacher-man. I had the pleasure of being his room-mate an housemate for consecutive years at Uni.

John would invite these people in, and counter-quote everything they said with a 100% correct quote from the bible. John, Born and bred in the nast bits of london had a Weebl+Bob grin that was only a couple of inches from causing his head to hinge in an alarming fasion. This, coupled with his fantastic accent and his habit of calmly sitting there in a dressing-gown, slippers and armchair while systematically and slowly disposing of the previous night's pizza, or Unlucky Fried Kitten, would set off a superiority complex with the cleanly-suited god-botherers, and cause them to quote verse at him with alarming and mis-guided persistance.

Each and every quote was met with a calm and dis-arming counter-quote, and a gentle reminder that "maybe you guys would be better suited to working in a fast-food joint..... you clearly have trouble reading that bible and understanding it.... Do you want some chicken?".

John was and IS clearly heroic at annoying these people, and even more amusingly, when they left in a huff with John's Lunatic Grin following them out of the house, He'd say "Do come back for another cuppa when you've learnt something"

Go John!! :)
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Mon 27 Jun 2005, 15:09, Reply)