Young, drunk and pantless
Paddy's day is a big drinking day in Ireland whether you're a toddler or OAP and that's tradition. Back when I was a younger more alcohol tolerant Daz (by tolerant I mean it tended to spew less back up) I was hanging around the city centre on that faithful saints day.

Me and my friends had decided to attended an open air Ceile (Irish ho'down) which was being televised live to the states. At some point in the festivities there were calls for volunteers to play the spoons with the trad band on stage. Being the crafty begger I was I didn't frantically wave to be chosen but raised a timid hand amongst the madness.

Security was obviously pleased with my lack of courage and allowed me up on stage with five others were we sat in front of the band. Each of us were handed a set of wooden spoons I promptly snapping mine and had to sit whilst each other contestant got to play along to a small medley with the band.

Until I heard behind me a pssst. Looking around I saw the aul fellas in the band giggling and then the eldest leaned forward and grinned "moon the cunts". Some instructions cut through the tar-thick mess that is your drunken brain and this was one. With the grace of an Olympic gymnast I stood stock straight, twisted and bent at the waist whilst expertly pulling my pants to my heels brandishing my twin buns to god knows how many horrified onlookers both there and in america.

I was promptly hoisted by two security guards and pitched off the side of the stage and was told to "fuck off" when I asked could I have a new pair of spoons.
( dazbrilliantwhites has been meaning to change this..., Sun 11 Aug 2013, 11:46, 6 replies)

I like this.

(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Sun 11 Aug 2013, 13:10, closed)

^ What this prick said ^

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Sun 11 Aug 2013, 16:16, closed)

Paddy's Every
(username failed moderation, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 8:49, closed)

Toddlers
Don't drink on sundays.
( dazbrilliantwhites has been meaning to change this..., Mon 12 Aug 2013, 10:59, closed)

Maybe not
at your house.
(username failed moderation, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 12:31, closed)

ToddlersAmateurs
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 11:46, closed)