Young, drunk and pantless
Paddy's day is a big drinking day in Ireland whether you're a toddler or OAP and that's tradition. Back when I was a younger more alcohol tolerant Daz (by tolerant I mean it tended to spew less back up) I was hanging around the city centre on that faithful saints day.

Me and my friends had decided to attended an open air Ceile (Irish ho'down) which was being televised live to the states. At some point in the festivities there were calls for volunteers to play the spoons with the trad band on stage. Being the crafty begger I was I didn't frantically wave to be chosen but raised a timid hand amongst the madness.

Security was obviously pleased with my lack of courage and allowed me up on stage with five others were we sat in front of the band. Each of us were handed a set of wooden spoons I promptly snapping mine and had to sit whilst each other contestant got to play along to a small medley with the band.

Until I heard behind me a pssst. Looking around I saw the aul fellas in the band giggling and then the eldest leaned forward and grinned "moon the cunts". Some instructions cut through the tar-thick mess that is your drunken brain and this was one. With the grace of an Olympic gymnast I stood stock straight, twisted and bent at the waist whilst expertly pulling my pants to my heels brandishing my twin buns to god knows how many horrified onlookers both there and in america.

I was promptly hoisted by two security guards and pitched off the side of the stage and was told to "fuck off" when I asked could I have a new pair of spoons.
( dazbrilliantwhites has been meaning to change this..., Sun 11 Aug 2013, 11:46, 6 replies)

When I was a very young child...
I apparently ran around on a beach butt naked.

Also, while driving home from holiday earlier today, some inconsiderate parent changed their child trousers, which they had soiled, in the view of THREE LANES OF TRAFFIC IN A TRAFFIC JAM. I mean, he could have done it on thei hard shoulder side, where no-one could have seen? Stupid sod.

tl;dr kid changes shitty pants in view of motorway. Not me, honest to god. I'm 22.

length? Seriously, the traffic queued back for miles.
(DarkMalfunction put the 'fun' in 'dysfunctional' on, Sat 10 Aug 2013, 22:16, Reply)

My stag night in Brighton
And I end up naked and handcuffed to a lamppost in the central reservation of The Esplanade in Brighton.

Cars are honking their horns, people have their windows down shouting at me. Then come the gropers - men, women, TV's Transexuals etc. My arse gets smacked red raw, women grab my tackle in the most unladylike manner and dig their nails in and numerous people simulate oral and simulate taking me from behind.

Then my saviour appears. A WPC driving a riot wagon. She stops next to me and asks me if I'm alright? I sheepishly say yes. She asks me where my friends are and I nod to the reprobates on the opposite side of the road howling like hyenas. And then my saviour says: "Have a good night" and Foxtrot Oscars off!
(vikingaero Deilvered To Your Door in 30 mins, Sat 10 Aug 2013, 21:34, 7 replies)

can't believe nobody wants to piggy back on a gay bathhouse
you bunch of fucking homeophobes
(alright alright, Sat 10 Aug 2013, 19:06, 4 replies)

There is many a gay bath house in Hungary.
Or bath houses that do not deplore the actions of man hungry cock whores. Anyway, I was in Budapest and due to good information from sites like gaydar, I visited a bath house with quite a reputation for man on man bum fun. So, there I was in the bath house, not minding my own business and generally trying to get a cheap sexual encounter. Not financially cheap, I am not that cheap or adverse to paying if needs must. Anyho', I was admiring the actions of two elderly old Hungarian men whilst I wallowed in the hot bath. To cut a long story short, I accidentally started drinking from the oldest ones catheter bag.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 23:09, 4 replies)

So, years back...
...I was sharing a flat with my best friend's mum. Long story, don't ask. So, anyway, I'm living in a just-becoming-groovy part of east London, sharing a half-derelict warehouse with a late-50s german woman. I'm spending vast amounts of time out drinking and dancing the night away, and having one night stands. So, inevitably, one night, I end up back at mine, 3 sheets to the wind with a rather gorgeous redhead. I needed to go for a pee, so staggered downstairs, tripped on the exceptionally steep and slippery stairs, and crashed to a heap at the bottom. Redhead came down to see what's happening, also slipped, lands on top of me. So as we're pissing ourselves laughing, flatmate / mates mum comes downstairs to see what all the fuss is about (this is at 4AM) and discovers 2 naked drunks tangled in each other, in fits of laughter.

She vass not amussed! For weeks I was referred to as "ferry bad boy".
(m.auron, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 20:15, 9 replies)

Poor PTSD postman
My husband works at sea and went back to work about 6 weeks after I had our first baby. He was away for 3 months at a time. I was pretty exhausted and, after a particularly gruelling night, was on the sofa, still in a grannified breast feeding nightie at around lunchtime. I fed the baby and must have dozed off. Was awoken by a ring of the doorbell, deposited the now sleeping baby and blearily stumbled to answer the door to the postman with a parcel to sign for. Duly signed for it and came by inside thinking what a terrified looking postman he was. Walked up the hall to put the parcel down, past the hall mirror. In horror, was confronted by the sight of my hideous bed-head, sleep-deprived eyes, gross, milk-soaked nightie and, joy of joys, my left tit hanging out of the top. Surprisingly, didn't get parcels every day after that. Can't think why...
(Lolopops, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 19:45, Reply)

Hotel Nudity
Apologies for failing to post the long MTFU story I promised last week, fans. Something came up - namely, the BBC announced the identity of the actor playing the Terran aspect of the 12th Doctor (Peter Capaldi - good fit) so I was rather preoccupied.

Anyway - re. the subject of this week's QOTW: during one of my incarnations, many years ago, I worked in a rather prestigious London hotel. Well, it wasn't THAT prestigious, and indeed was struggling a bit and went under six months after I left, and was demolished in 1987. (There's flats there now.) It was because of our parlous financial state that we were rather lax about who we accepted as guests, and would accommodate anyone if they could afford us (we would often offer discounts). We would also accommodate their foibles. For example, if a guest wanted to bring a, shall we say, hired help back to their room, we would turn a blind eye. Pets, also, we would accommodate. Dogs, usually; but one guest in particular booked with us who had a rather unusual pet. The manager was initially reluctant to accept the booking, but the guest offered to pay extra, so we accepted. And so came the fateful day that the guest - a Malaysian businessman - came to stay, with his pet. His pet... chimpanzee.

This chimpanzee, which went by the name of Bibmoxee, was an adolescent male and a big, scary looking fucker, but we were assured it was quite tame. One of the conditions of the booking was that, when the guest was out, a member of hotel staff would be stationed in the room to look after Bibmoxee and make sure he didn't damage anything. I pleaded with Stephanie, the manager, to get an expert from Regents Park Zoo or somewhere but she refused, citing costs, and appointed me as chief chimp minder (shoulda kept my big mouth shut!).

And so the afternoon after the morning the guest checked in, he had to go out for a business meeting, leaving Bibmoxee in his suite. I was duly stationed to attend to the chimp's needs. I admit, I was terrified, but did my duty (hey - this could fit with last week's question too! Double bubble!). The guest had assured me that Bibmoxee was totally tame and not at all violent, but would sometimes get a bit "rambunctious." To mitigate this, I was given a kazoo and instructed to blow on it repeatedly until Bibmoxee calmed down.

So with a certain amount of trepidation I entered the suite. It was one of our largest and most expensive, and consisted of a main lounge with bedrooms, kitchen and bathroom off. I found Bibmoxee in the lounge sitting limbs akimbo on the sofa, staring impudently at me, his genitals proudly displayed. There was an enormous turd on the carpet and the stench was unbearable. Kazoo between my lips I cleared up the shit whilst Bibmoxee sprawled on the sofa, seeming suspiciously quiet and subdued. After I cleaned up I gave Bibmoxee a bunch of bananas, which he promptly ate, skin and all. He then spat copiously on the carpet, and proceeded to stick his finger up his bum for a good root around, and then sniff and lick the finger. All par for the course for a chimpanzee, and I watched all this warily from the relative safety of an easy chair opposite the sofa, kazoo in hand ready to be deployed.

To his credit the teenage ape behaved himself for about an hour - but then started acting up, capering madly round the room and throwing pillows. As he raised his arm to throw one at me I blew on the kazoo, hard. The effect was immediate. Bibmoxee emitted a series of high, piping shrieks, scuttled into a corner and curled up into a ball with his arms wrapped around his head. There he stayed, shuddering and whimpering. Pleased with this result, and trying not to think about what his owner had done to achieve it, I began to relax. As long as I had the kazoo, I was safe.

About ten minutes later there came a knock at the door. With one eye on the corner where Bibmoxee cowered, I opened it. It was Lucy, one of the chambermaids. She was a saucy little thing, with lambent pale skin, black hair tied back in a ponytail and laughing blue eyes. I had fancied her ever since I'd started work at the hotel.

"I didn't order room service", I said mock-seriously.

"Oh you idiot, I've come to see the chimpanzee!" The slight Irish lilt in her voice just made her all the more fanciable.

She came into the room and when she saw Bibmoxee she frowned in concern. "Oh! Is it all right?"

I told her about the business with the kazoo and as I did so Bibmoxee looked up and noticed her. Now I don't know a lot, if anything, about chimpanzees, but maybe the sight of a female, albeit not one of his own species, excited Bibmoxee; the moment he clapped eyes on Lucy he leapt up shrieking, his long yellow teeth bared in a terrifying grimace. I quickly deployed the kazoo again, and kept on blowing it until the chimp was once again subdued.

Now Lucy was staring around the room. "Never been in here before, isn't it grand?" Then she turned to me with a devilish glint in her eyes. "Let's fuck!"

She grabbed my hand and led me to the bedroom even before I began to comprehend what she had said, and realise what an extremely lucky bastard I was. Stunned by my good fortune, I watched agape as she slipped out of her clothes and stood before me, naked as the day she was born (apart from her earrings). She smiled and said, "Come on then what are you waiting for?" My heart the size of the Moon, I stumbled out of my clothes and was soon locked in a naked embrace with the woman I had been secretly lusting after for months and months. We fell onto the bed, exploring each other’s bodies, my cock hard against her belly and my fingers teasing her moist, slippery haven.

Suddenly there came a tremendous pounding at the door. I sat bolt upright, my erection melting away like a Solero in a sauna. Bibmoxee! I instinctively reached for the kazoo - only to realise that I must have dropped it or left it in the lounge when I was distracted by Lucy's out-of-the-blue offer. The pounding increased in ferocity until Bibmoxee’s fist broke through the panels. Lucy screamed and hopped off the bed. Suddenly - BANG! - the door was thrust open and there Bibmoxee stood, his face a mask of terrifying ferocity. Shrieking, he raised his arm and threw something at us - it splattered against the headboard of the bed, and I realised it was a lump of his own faeces.

So there we both were, stark naked (apart from Lucy's earrings and my socks), at the total mercy of an insanely angry shit-throwing chimpanzee, with no way of defending ourselves or of subduing the ape.

With a roar, Bibmoxee lunged for us, arms outstretched. Thinking quickly I shoved Lucy to one side, hauled the king-size duvet off the bed and hurled it over the advancing chimp. It covered him completely and he began to stumble blindly around the bedroom. I grabbed Lucy's hand and we skirted around the confused simian, through the broken door and into the lounge. I began looking for the kazoo and found it - but it had been smashed into bits, the red plastic pieces scattered around the deep-pile cream-coloured carpet. I looked back into the bedroom - Bibmoxee had thrown the duvet off and was glaring at me with a gaze of extreme malevolence. With seconds to spare I bustled the naked Lucy out of the suite and slammed the door behind us.

We stood in the corridor, breathing heavily, sweat sheening our nude bodies. A sudden thumping at the door alarmed us, but the outer doors to our rooms were heavy and secure and not even an enraged chimpanzee would be able to break through.

Suddenly Lucy burst out laughing, and I couldn't help but join in. The sheer relief of our escape sent our adrenaline levels soaring, and I could feel myself becoming erect again. With a twinkle in her eye Lucy got down on all fours and gasped, "Fuck me like a dog!" So I fucked her there and then from behind, groaning in pleasure as I ejaculated fulsomely deeply within her.

We then walked hand in hand along the corridor, got the lift to the ground floor and went straight to the manager's office where we reported the incident. It was a bit embarrassing walking butt naked through reception, we could feel all eyes on us; and I indeed said, "take a picture, it'll last longer," and I believe someone actually did.

We expected to be sacked on the spot but Stephanie laughed and let us off, with a warning not to conduct our affair on hotel premises.

The porter was sent out to purchase a new kazoo and Bibmoxee was subdued. Of course, we had to ask the guest to leave; he was angry, but he paid for the damage. Stephanie agreed that in hindsight it was a bit of a stretch to try and cope with a chimpanzee and apologised for putting our lives in danger.

Lucy and I went out for about a year until she left me for an Italian waiter.
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 19:24, 15 replies)

Those women were in the nip!

( Pig Bodine., Fri 9 Aug 2013, 19:15, 8 replies)

Starkers in reception
I used to go to these Smiths-themed nights at the Star & Garter in Manchester - a chance for a few tunes and a few beers. I used to stay in one of those budget hotels on Porland Street. One evening, I rolled in at about 2am, knackered and a wee bit worse for wear. I got in the room, stripped off, and went to bed. I don't know how long I'd been asleep when i heard a huge scream in the corridor. I jumped up, stuck my head round the door - I could see nothing - I craned a little further out to see if I could see some poor girl getting attacked, and then *click* - the door shut behind me, leaving me starkers in the corridor, no means of getting back in. I just had to brazen it out. I walked down to reception, said to the lady behind the desk "Please may I have another card, I am locked out of my room". With a look that said she'd seen and heard this scenario a thousand times before, she gave me another keycard. It was at that point a massively pissed up party of Welsh Rugby players returned from a refreshing night out, and laughed at my nakedness. I slunk out sheepishly in the daylight.
(barst Rdli Hakkis 4eva in r hartz, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 19:12, Reply)

Stupid Gweilo
Back in 2006 I was living in a small city on the south coast of China. There were only a couple of hundred westerners living there and we all used to congregate in the few suitable bars. One of these was a beach bar, and a friend managed to organise a full moon party there.

At around 1am, when everyone had already had a bit too much to drink, an English girl at our table decided (I still have no idea why) to egg us on to take off our clothes and run into the sea. We (nearly all men, surprisingly enough) decided to follow her lead, tore off our clothes, and ran in after her. After a minute in the sea we felt the wind suddenly get much stronger. This meant that a storm was coming in - not a rare event in that part of the world. A few people sensibly decided to return to the shore at that point, but the drunker half of the group (including me I'm afraid) just thought this was part of the fun and swam further out. After five minutes the storm had actually started, the waves were getting pretty crazy, and we couldn't really see much at all, so we swam back to shore.

When I got to the table I found my clothes had made it halfway into the sea - everything was soaking, and my shirt was missing. My friend (the one who had organised the party) was less fortunate. All his clothes had been swept away, as had his bag with his work, phone and house keys inside. His girlfriend had the only other keys, and she was on holiday until a week later. Everyone was in the inside part of the bar now, so there was a good five minutes with a hundred or so people huddling inside, watching this naked guy running round outside in the rain trying to find his stuff. Fortunately we were able to find people with spare clothes to lend to him, and he was able to sleep on my sofa for the next week.

The real shocker came a week later when we returned to the same bar and realised the nice bit of ocean we'd been swimming around in was the outlet to a sewage pipe coming from a row of hotels on the hill. They'd thoughtfully extended the pipe 10 metres into the sea, and we'd mistaken it for a sea wall to guide us in and out. I'd even taken in a mouthful of seawater.
( Zuowan, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:41, 2 replies)

Pinteresting story
At the Brighton and Hove food festival last summer. I turned up later in the day with the now Mrs Deskbound.

We made our way around the stalls sampling the produce (a lot of it free at that time of day) , we also managed to fit in time for a few ciders and some potent rum served in a fresh coconut.

So, along with the bountiful amounts of sun we’d exposed ourselves to that day and the food and booze, we decided to have a sit down in an open grassy area, fitting in another rum filled coconut.

The sun was dipping below the high rises of the flats along the sea front, but was still high enough to bathe the other revellers who were sat with us in a nice orangey-yellow glow.

It was at this point that a carefree and well pickled young lady decided she needed to stand up and stretch.

Perhaps she didn’t realise that the combination of wearing a very poorly constructed white dress and no underwear would give everyone a view of her heavily pierced downstairs face.

Although she may have been quite proud of it. It looked like a pin-cushion pasty.

Length? Not even a semi.
(Deskbound You insignificant speck of dust, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:37, 1 reply)

So there I was in the jungle
When this camera crew turns up.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:35, 2 replies)

this may well be a repost
new year's eve, many years ago. i had got incredibly drunk and decided to go home. occasionally when i'm drunk, i feel the urge to take off all my clothes when i need a wee. this was one of those occasions. i sat my naked arse on the toilet, rested my head on the radiator and fell asleep.
some time later, i awoke to the sound of thunderous knocking on the front door and extremely loud swearing and cursing. it seemed my brother wanted to be let in to the house(it was my fault for not letting him in immediately, of course, not his for forgetting his keys). i jumped up and ran downstairs to open the door, completely forgetting that i was naked.
sadly for my brother, the moment the door opened is one i doubt he'll ever forget. nor will my sister's ex-fiancee, who was with him.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:02, 2 replies)

Quite some time ago,
I was the lead guitarist in the riot grrl group L7 and dropped my pants during a live performance on Channel 4's "The Word".

True story.
(McChinaman banned, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 15:49, 4 replies)

No where to hide
I lived in a shared house with a number of student types, I was a worker so was subject to fascination. One girl was particularly my type, taller than me, slim, brunette and beautiful - a delight in other words. My room was nearest the bathroom, along the hallway from my room was the stair light and the light switch was at the bottom of the stairs. Still quite drunk from the night before I entered the bathroom only to notice the hallway light was on. Thinking it was probably the right thing to do (you know, students saving money & all that) I sprinted along the hallway and started down the stairs to turn off the light. But my way was blocked by the sexy tall girl and I was naked. Whoops. There followed the rapid swoop of my arms to cover the meat & 2 veg and I mumbled something about it being a lovely day and walked back to my room with as much dignity as I could muster. We had quite a laugh about this a few days later.
(luckylife , 0 guests and 3 bots are online, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 15:07, 1 reply)

It all started with pints of Leffe
So there we were in leafy Greenwich, my girlfriend meeting my friend's soon-to-be wife for the first time. They had recently bought a very small one bed house and made some minor re-jigging by moving the downstairs bathroom into an en-suite in their modestly sized bedroom.

The rationale for the re-jigging had been that they would have a little bit more storage space and that the downstairs bathroom was impractical
as my friend's ample 6ft 4 frame meant that he couldn't actually shut the door while sat on the loo... a little embarrassing if they had guests.

Wine in hand the girls got chatting about shopping and while Ben and I talked rugby (he's not really a football fan) and drank beer, or something like that. Ben then mentioned that he had a load of Leffe, but decreed that we couldn't be girly and drink small glasses of the stuff, no we had to have pints of the stuff.

After a couple of pints we decide that we'd go to the local pub. They served Leffe there too (yay!), so we continued to drink pints of the stuff, which slipped down nicely.

At closing time we slightly wobbled back to their bijou abode. Time for one last pint of Leffe before bed? Oh yes.

That made it about 8-9 pints of Leffe.

After Ben and Emily went up to their bed, I impressed my girlfriend with a full on naked Five Star Frog Splash onto the sofa bed. Miraculously I didn't injure myself, girlfriend or bed. No, it was later that evening that my public performance happened.

At about 3am I woke up, full on room spinning and I was resigned to the inevitable run for the loo. But wait... I cant streak through my hosts' bedroom and wake them up with the sound of me redecorating the en suite. No, the shortest route was to the door. And there I was Yahtzeeing my guts up into the gutter.

I returned to bed to the sound of an unsympathetic tut, but this shuttle sick run routine continued until it was daylight.

All I can do is apologize to the poor people churchgoers that had to witness me nude dry heaving in the street. Still, at least I remembered to give them a wave.
( @><|= w0nu!) or cunt to my friends, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 14:54, 8 replies)

As some of you know I was orphaned at a young age
my foster parents were wealthy and I wanted for nothing but - as is typical for over-privileged kids - I became a rebel and, long story short, a massive slug paraded me around in brass knickers and bra.

Buck Rogers.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 14:52, 1 reply)

I miss the days before the internet.
When you could get drunk, take your clothes off and not have the pictures uploaded to Facebook.

Although the last time it happened I asked for the picture to be uploaded to Facebook.
(Thor McLegend FUCK SHITPANTS PAC MAN, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 14:43, 2 replies)

When I was a nipper I was fascinated one day by a parade of horses going down the street in my home town.
It was a cold day so I walked up to one of them and asked it if it would like to borrow my jacket. It didn't answer me but just made a sort of high pitched squeal.

I asked the rider what his horse said and he told me, "Neigh, kid".
( Fork Has lost his bash virginity!, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 14:04, 5 replies)

It's not "skyclad" it's
"naked".

And you don't look anything like the slim, pretty young woman on the cover of the book.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 12:48, 3 replies)

I used to model naked for an art class
www.art-bronze-sculptures.com/images/product_images/kategorieneu/388.jpg
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 12:19, 1 reply)

A few years ago, after my mum had died, but before that retarded girl got raped, must have been about time my wife was diagnosed with cancer, my wife said to me “Strewth, you smell worse than that time you confused the dunny for the wash basin”. Working as a carer, personal hygiene has always be important to me. My mum taught me to wash myself in preparation for boarding school when I was 14, and to this day I’ve never forgotten how to do it. Stung into action by my wife’s comment I rushed to the bathroom, repeating my wife’s advice “don’t wash yer face in the basin with a seat yer fucking idiot” I decided to take drastic action and have a bath. In less than an hour I’d removed the old newspapers and whatnot from the tub and was ready.
The whole thing was a revelation. The warm water, the soap, it was amazing. As the hours passed by the water soaked into my pores and took on the colour of well brewed tea. It happened accidently at first, some of the water splashed into my mouth and I got a taste. It was tangy and salty and earthy. It tasted like the boys changing rooms at school smelt after 2 hours of rugby. Before I knew what I was doing I was gulping down this heady brew. The taste, the smell the memories! It was gushing down my throat, pint after pint. After about 3 gallons I could drink no more and slumped back into my own gravy, my whole body gently pulsating with pleasure. The sudden relaxation proved to be my downfall as the combination of a monstrous erection and bladder set to burst took me unawares and with a gargling scream of ecstasy I pissed in my own mouth.
(ringofyre, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 11:47, 16 replies)

After a night on subsidised lager at the student bar,
a friend of mine spent the night on the sofa. Kind chap that I am, I woke him with a cup of tea, at a sensible hour. Thoughtless chap that I am, I had dressed in a particularly tight pair of flares, and his sleeping in the sofa had placed his head at the height of my groin, thus the first thing he saw upon opening his eyes was the outline of my cock and balls.

Best I can do, I'm afraid. Even at the age of 2, I refused to disrobe on the nudist beach that my parents had thought a suitable location for a family day out.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 11:42, Reply)

did one of them naked calendars for charity
raised a fair few grand too.
it got on the graham norton show I think.
( Ya What Skiddlyboop, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 11:12, 3 replies)

Hippies
We used to go camping often in the Brecon Beacons and one year we were joined by a dancer friend who was - well, a bit flakey and new-age-ish.

And she decided she wanted to do a beautiful, experimental piece of dance about a water fairy. Which involved all of us prancing about nude in a stream. Not something I'd normally be willing to do in any way (the nudity doesn't bother me, but dancing is *not* my thing) but I was fourteen and horny as fuck.

We got some intrigued glances from passers-by that day.
( flatfrog Staring vacantly into space, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 11:08, 2 replies)

Good Old Albert - he always knew how to expose himself...
www.b3ta.com/questions/firstrudething/post1324130
(Queen of the Harpies, a dedicated Marshmallow puppet, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:40, 10 replies)

YES
1. Not strictly 'naked' in public but as a teenager I was trotting off to the teenage hangout place in our park-some benches where we'd sit spitting, drinking red stripe and listening to shit rave music on an Alba ghetto blaster-when I looked down to see that my T A I L was hanging out of my jeans

2. my mate and I frequently have the quite disturbing habit of both recreating the 'goodbye horses' dance that the killer does in Silence of the Lambs...last time was at xmas house party we'd been invited to

3. At Glastonbury '95. With the 1st girl I ever fell in love with. The Sunday was spent shagging in and running naked around some woods

if theres any sort of heaven when I die it'll be that day...
( bigmeuprudeboy is using powerpoint or paint...have MERCY, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:39, 3 replies)

once, many years ago
I was in the bath, with an erection, long story short I fucked Mr Matey.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:26, 7 replies)