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This is a question Failed

On my third driving test, I turned right out of the test centre, reached a pedestrian crossing, attempted to run over a little old lady, was prevented from doing so by the examiner grabbing the wheel, then proceeded straight back to the test centre.

The drive home was very, very quiet. I've never felt such a complete failure.

What have you failed at?

(, Fri 5 Jan 2007, 10:21)
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failed but in a good way
My first big failure was my French a-level. I didn't care because in my happy go lucky way I did an art AS and managed to get into a University. In Northern Ireland. Now, being a foolish and strangely attractive (no honest) young English boy, with as much knowledge about "the troubles" as particle dynamics, I went across with my heart held high.

The main failure of my entire time studying was "Failure to understand the seriousness of the situation"

I got off the ferry and realised that the police had guns. Not in a jolly French "look we have guns and silly hats" sort of way, but big fuck off guns. This was 1992 and the cease fire was just a happy little idea amongst optimists.

So, after a couple of nights in the bar singing away with the boys I failed to understand the significance of the songs in that funny heathen Irish language. One of my mates explained some time later that Big G was a major IRA sympathiser, a psycho and had anti English violence in his blood, and the only reason that I had escaped with my knees intact was that I had confused the fuck out of him and hadn't been intimidated. From then on Big G treated me like a "special child".

I failed to understand what happened when my friend was asked to burn out a car... later learned it was to remove evidence of a UVF beating. Who was I to worry? I didn't realise.

I failed to realise the offence that was caused by producing the SU Magazine in the only paper colours that we had. Red White And Blue. It lasted one issue after our editor got threatening phone calls, about his family and petrol bombs.

I failed to get laid too. Fucking Catholic Girls, all tease and no put out... though I think it may have been my complete misunderstanding of their culture.

But the big lesson is to pretend nothing is wrong and get drunk, it confuses the fuck out of people.

Failure to be concise is also one of my traits :-)

p.s. on the faliure to get laid bit. It was just the locals who avoided me. The ex pats and overseas students were only too happy to lend a hand... or whatever...
(, Sun 7 Jan 2007, 12:19, Reply)

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