The Easiest Of Tests
I work with a bizarre number of middle aged women who are mostly kind, friendly and generally lovely to be with. With all the love in the world, however, some of them just aren't too bright. This was proved recently when one of them stopped everyone working and announced she had something spooky to show them all. She picked first on lovely Carole, a notable sucker for comedy moments and told her she was going to read her mind. Carole put on her best concentrating face in preparation.
"Think of a country beginning with D." She was told. Carole thought for an embarrassing length of time and then slowly nodded.
"Right, now take the second letter of that country and think of an animal beginning with that letter." Again the agonisingly long pause, followed by a nod.
"Now finally think of what colour those animals are." A quicker nod this time.
With a knowing smile our protaganist pronounced "But you don't get grey elephants in Denmark, Carole. Why did you think of that?"
There were knowing nods around the desks as everybody agreed that they too had thought of the same thing and it was slightly amusing, if not exactly a spooky feat of telepathy. Except Carole of course. Completely missing the fact that her collegue had just read her mind, Carole continued to argue for 10 minutes that "you bloody well do get elephants in Denmark! Carlsberg make a beer called Elephant and they're from Denmark so you must do!". After several minutes of attempted general persuasion and gentle mocking everyone decided it would be better just to give up and agree with her.

It was mildly amusing, but nowhere near as funny as when we all went on our breaks and Carole's daughter joined us for a crafty cigarette. We all gamely tried to surpress our smiles when Carole told her daughter she was going to read her mind, certain that with her tentative, at best, grasp on the 'trick' that she was sure to screw it up.
"Right, love, think of a country beginning with D." She started. Her daughter thought for an even longer time than her mother had and then nodded slowly.
"Right, now take the second letter of that country and think of animal that begins with it." And then we waited. After at least a minute her daughter shook her head.
"I can't think of one!" She said, causing us all to look round in disbelief.
"God! You're showing me up!" Carole said exasperated. "What about elephant?".
Her daughter gave her a puzzled look and pointed out that elephant doesn't begin with a U.
"A U?" Carole said getting frustrated. "What bloody country did you think of?"
"Dublin." She replied.
"Oh." Said Carole, not understanding why we were all howling with laughter at her daughter. "Well, you bloody idiot, you could have had unicorn!" Carole said.

The laughter stopped about ten minutes later. Sorry, Carole, but as much as I like you............FAIL.
( Gleeballs is mostly made out of chocolate and hate., Mon 8 Jan 2007, 11:17, Reply)