Enough To Drive You Up The Wall
I passed my driving test on the third attempt like all cool people do. But after failing for the second time my driving instructor told me the following story (which I made him swear on his life was true) on the way home in an attempt to cheer me up.

According to him his worst student ever was a poor kid called Steve whose mother insisted he learn to drive no matter the cost. At the time I was told this story (some years ago) that cost included over 300 lessons and 26 failed driving tests over a period of five years. Apparently after the fifth test my driving instructor (god bless him) actually went to their house and told Steve's mother that some people are just beyond hope and he felt guilty about taking any more money for lessons when he knew, in his heart, Steve was never going pass his test. Nevertheless, his mother insisted he keep taking lessons, and paying for them, sure her son would indeed eventually pass.

Naturally I was flabbergasted by this poor kid, who was taking lessons long before and after I'd learnt and passed. And could only repeatedly stammer "But how????". I mean, surely blind luck would make you fluke it eventually. My driving instructor just shook his head and explained that, no matter what he'd tried and how many times he tried to teach Steve better, every single time Steve had to press his foot on a pedal he had to look down for a second or two to find it and make sure it was the right one!

I have a horrible feeling that somewhere, even today, Steve is busy careering towards a busy junction staring intently at the floor while an examiner mutters prayers under his breath. Poor Steve.
( Gleeballs is mostly made out of chocolate and hate., Mon 8 Jan 2007, 11:44, Reply)