el-kerbong
I was once a customer service rep for Blue Cross in California. Since it was a union job the only way to get fired was to show up late. I was 30 minutes late to work. Again. For the second time that week. It was Tuesday.

The only excuse my mind could think of was in the catostrophy coloumn. I looked arond the car for something to wound myself with. Jon was kind enough to let me borrow his bass guitar after helping him move his crap into storage while he enjoyed his unemployment sabaticcal and it was in the passenger seat. So at the first stoplight I picked the base up and drew it back.

KERBONNGGGG! The I checked the vanity mirror on my sun shade and saw a decent welt, but I thought it could be better.KERBONGGG!KREBANGGG(oooh, look at the pretty stars)GGGGGgggg. Alright. Now I got a lump and the people stopped next to me have their mouths open. Still....

My injury was still lacking something. Ah, yes. Needs blood. I looked around for something to bust me open with. I found an earing of the stud varity belonging to my girlfriend. At the next stoplight I clenched my teeth and pushed the back of the earing through the flesh on my newly created forehead lump. I took a deep breath and brought it across my forehead with a "Keee-Yahhhh!!!" Karate style. I repeated this twice more as the people in the car next to me took pictures with their camera phones.

I walked into work looking like Terry Funk after a texas death match. My boss came up to me after I stumbled my way to my desk to ask why I was late. "Oh, my god! What happened?"

"Oh, I was in a car accident. Can I leave early to go to the doctor?"

So I walk into the doctors office with this swollen bloody pulsating lump on my forehead and told the doctor what I imagined might of happened. I was expecting some pain killers and muscle relaxers, but I wound up with a release off work untill Friday. I accepted the offer.

Then I went to my docor feel good and loaded up on unecessary pain killers.

Visit to crooked doctor = 80 dollars

Copay for scedual 3 narcotics = 7 dollar copay for generics per 30 days

Watching primetime tv with your girlfriend while semicoherent = priceless
(anotherlogan and the whit he shites, Sat 12 Jul 2008, 3:04, 2 replies)

Bit Extreme
but done the same sort of things meself,It's good the amount of kudos you get from the bosses for coming in with such an injury.
( Trollman, Sat 12 Jul 2008, 10:20, closed)

Gotta love
vicodin. *clicks* for ingenuity.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Sat 12 Jul 2008, 18:44, closed)