ID
.
I worked at Longnbenton DHSS Office for a while as part of a project I was involved in. This place is one of the biggest Government offices in Britain with around 7500 staff. It's a shithole.

On entering you had to flash your pass at the bored looking security people. But one day I lost mine and, as I was already late for a meeting, flashed a Kidney Donor Card instead. Straight in.

Emboldened by my success the next day I flashed a milk bottle top. They still let me in.

My ultimate though was flashing nothing at all. Just walked through the gates, waved my hand at them and carried on walking.

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Mon 14 Jul 2008, 12:20, 8 replies)

Presumably
you could also have flashed a couple of CD-Rs at them on the way out and they'd have been similarly uninterested.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 14 Jul 2008, 12:25, closed)

Try flashing a gun
It'd be interesting to see their reaction.
( Thinker, Mon 14 Jul 2008, 12:30, closed)

Despite having worked for the DSS for more years than I care to remember
I never once worked at 'Benton. Thank god. Having the ability to walk around the site with some papers and a clipboard 'looking busy' seemed to be a favourite activity.

So many transferred into DSS local offices because they were so arse numbingly bored. After about 3 months, 80% were seeking a transfer back because they couldn't hack the pace.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 14 Jul 2008, 12:33, closed)

I've
worked at loads of Government departments and, each time, I swear "never again"

One place, the now defucnt Funding Agencies For Schools, I waited for four days for my network logon. In the end I tired of waiting, ran up a list of logged on users and saw that there were dozens of people logged on under the same name. So I tried logging on using that account with no password and was in. 30 minutes later I had an Admin account and created my own logon with admin rights.

You know what they said when I told them what I'd done?

"That was clever!"

Muppets.

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Mon 14 Jul 2008, 12:35, closed)

by christ
you must be a jedi, you do not need to see my pass
(pogo_it, Mon 14 Jul 2008, 16:44, closed)

Legless...
...how did you survive without throwing yourself from the top of the buliding?

Oh, and don't you mean "Benton Park"? You can polish a turd....
( Undercovercarrot got done for gross misconduct on..., Mon 14 Jul 2008, 20:56, closed)

Nah...
it was Longbenton... it's now Benton Park. I think.

*Used to be known as 'The Ministry'
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 15 Jul 2008, 1:07, closed)

Top Notch Security
I once worked for GEC Avionics (nee Marconi) during the Gulf war. We built the thermal imaging systems used for the night attacks.
Security was tight, bags were checked.
Driving in one morning I realized I'd forgottem my security pass, a red and white thing with my photo on it.
As luck would have it, there was a KFC wet wipe in the door pocket. A quick flash and I sped through.
I obviously look more like Colonel Sanders than I'd like to admit.
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Wed 16 Jul 2008, 11:02, closed)