When ‘faking it’ bites you on the arse…

Now you may not believe this, but I’m actually a bit shy. I love posting on B3ta because of the virtual anonymity. I can state my opinions, tell some harmless anecdotes and sometimes let my fundamentally spacktarded imagination go into overdrive without (m)any consequences.

Months ago, I posted some truthful, needed-to-be-said stories regarding a place I used to work, the conditions and the management.

Some of my old friends who work there found out about this and signed up for B3ta to read / pass on / put up on the notice board etc.

I, however, thought that they would just read the posts relevant to them and not bother with B3ta again.

I was wrong. They kept lurking…

This week I tried to top last week’s ‘The Entity’ style ‘raped by a ghost’ post with a story about...well…look hard enough and you’ll find it. Suffice to say it does not show me in my best light.

So you can imagine my delight when I go to a reunion piss up last Friday and one of my mates shouts loud enough for the whole pub to hear:

“So what’s this about you wearing wimmin’s clothes?”

The pub goes quiet and every head turns in my crimson-faced direction.

Me: “Whhaaaaaaaa?”

‘Mate’: “I’ve read what you said about going all tranny and shagging blokes”

Me: *GULP* “well I….well I ….well I…..shhhhh!”

Whole pub sniggers in disbelief.

Mate: “Didn’t you write that you shagged your boss…and his Dad?”

Me: “NO!….Well, yeah...I mean I did…..but…that was just…..” *goes even redder*

Whole pub collectively gasps, starts muttering and takes out camera phones

Mate: “DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT POST ONTO THE ENTRE T’INTERWEB THAT YOU LIKE IT UP THE ‘WRONGUN’?”

Me: “oh fucking hell”

So there you have it people. Even if you’re bullshitting…keep it real. You’ll get found out in the end.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Mon 14 Jul 2008, 15:47, 10 replies)

...
I believe that the phrase here is "Officelol".


You? Shy? Ptchaw!
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 14 Jul 2008, 15:49, closed)

Oh, Lord
I hope this doesn't mean you'll stop with your awesome stories of obvious (to b3tans) exaggeration.
( Thinker, Mon 14 Jul 2008, 15:53, closed)

You love it.
The attention, the glory, the worshiping of your humungus talent.
( girlinthehole, Mon 14 Jul 2008, 15:55, closed)

My humungous what?

...oh.

actually, humungous, is that Latin for 'small and smelly'?

I'll ask Enzyme...sorry...Nigel

@Enzyme: I am shy - it's just that when you saw me I was vewwy dwunk...as is the case every most days.

@Le Penseur: it'll take more than being exposed to the whole of the Lutterworth community as a dress-wearing toliet-trader to stop me soiling these fine pages with my crappola!

But thanks for the support.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Mon 14 Jul 2008, 16:01, closed)

This is the problem...
You reached the peak. The world was at your feet.. everybody wanted a piece of you, and life was just one big party wasn't it.

So you got cosy with your new found friend.. Yeah you and fame were real close.. Peas in a pod they said.. but you kept on pushing didn't you.. didn't know when to stop.. you got addicted.. and now, a couple of pool parties later, you're just the guy who put on a dress and took it up the wrong un.
(TheRiddler Hmmmmm... I concur., Mon 14 Jul 2008, 16:03, closed)

I dread
my mates finding me on b3ta, even though I'm constantly telling them to look at it. I embarrass myself enough as it is without them knowing the deep dark secrets I trot out on these pages :P
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Mon 14 Jul 2008, 16:18, closed)

I got found out
My workmates found me on b3ta, and considering previous stories weren't too chuffed. Still those not mentioned laughed so it is all good.
(Neostenine's maker, Mon 14 Jul 2008, 17:16, closed)

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
sorry.

*click*
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 14 Jul 2008, 19:24, closed)

Somehow
I find myself really, REALLY hoping that this is true.

On the other hand, my kids know that I post here, and know my name in here...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 14 Jul 2008, 19:59, closed)

Whoops!

I have to go find that story now...
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Tue 15 Jul 2008, 2:29, closed)