If no-one has mentioned this person yet, then something is wrong.
There is, in my opinion, one person who sums up everything that is wrong with humanity. I became aware of this walking collection of each and every one of my personal dislikes a number of years ago.

I was married to someone with very different personal tastes to myself, and as such was often forced to watch TV that made me want to spew shit out of my face towards the screen. I fully believe that my IQ was stunted a good ten points by simply having been made to sit through that shit, and can only thank my lucky stars we split up before "Two pints of shit and a frontal lobotomy" became popular enough to register on her radar. (I don't include Sheridan Smith in that, she's alright. There are a couple of things I find interesting about her.)

There, in the middle of this pile of festering wank that poured from the screen every weekend in massive, 4 hour long omnibusses (omnibi?) was this person, like a tapeworm threading it's way through a massive pile of loose stools.

The shit started out on hollyoaks, where he played a character almost as unsavoury as his "real life" persona. He appeared on a slew of shitty celeb-hosted chat shows, talking about how amazing he was. But it was during "Celebrity Love Island" that I decided I would run him over if ever I was lucky enough to get the opportunity.

I speak, of course, about Paul Danan. Never heard of him? Of course not, he's a minor, Z-list celebrity. If you are ever unfortunate enough to be flicking past E4 while he's making one of his bi-annual forays into the world of fame, you will think you are staring at some megastar who you have somehow only just become aware of.

Never before have I seen someone so in love with himself whilst being completely oblivious to how obnoxious, sleazy and downright thick they are being. All the big character flaws are present; stupidity? Check. Self absorbed? Check. Mouthy and obnoxious? Check and check. This, added to the fact that his eyebrows alone have more character than the rest of his body all adds up to him being probably the biggest cunt the world has ever spawned.

I am half convinced he wasn't born, but concocted in a vat from the distilled juices of failed Big Brother contestants.
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Mon 8 Feb 2010, 15:56, 4 replies)

Never 'eard of'im!
Though my ex was soap-mad too.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Mon 8 Feb 2010, 16:01, closed)

I just checked IMDB
and, thankfully, he seems to be out of the limelight, probably because he was such an irritating shit that even fans of celebrity love island disliked him.

Worryingly, though, I noticed he was on CLI in 2005, a good 6 months after I split up with my ex, which means I watched it on my own :o I must have been conducting an experiment or something :P

Edit: His wikipedia page makes for some hilarious fail based reading, it's nice to know he's making a mess of things :D
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Mon 8 Feb 2010, 16:09, closed)

"I am half convinced he wasn't born, but concocted in a vat from the distilled juices of failed Big Brother contestants."
^^ This made me chuckle, and it's very true.
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Mon 8 Feb 2010, 16:57, closed)

E4 has one saving grace
The Big Bang Theory.
fucking brilliance.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 8 Feb 2010, 18:28, closed)