sarah jessica parker
well, i don't hate her because she's not very different from many other famous actresses... what irritates me is her lack of attractiveness. not that's she even ugly. she looks ... like a normal middle aged woman. with limited acting ability ... better than some but not as good as others. so the question i put to you is ... what is she for? she's everywhere but she serves no aesthetic, intellectual or entertainment function... she is aggravatingly pointless.
(ladyintheradiator, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 0:26, 7 replies)

I can't think of anyone to hate
So I'm going to write a post on how awesome Kevin McCloud is.

1. He loves architecture. Despite the formulaic nature of Grand Designs, he really *likes* a lot of what is produced.

2. He puts his money where his mouth is too: he's invested in something called the HAB housing project which is about building sustainable housing at an affordable price.

3. He's a master of both the arty/fun side of life and the gears and cogs end of things too: he's not afraid of a little maths.

3. The man who, without a huge interest or any experience in race driving, just humbly walks onto Top Gear and gets *second* in the Star in the Reasonably Priced Car slot. Above all those up-themselves petrolheads. And from this episode airing, my boyfriend now watches Grand Designs with me. I know that means little to you lovely b3tans but I can *finally* watch some trashy tv with him. This is beyond priceless for me.

4. He speaks French and Italian fluently. And doesn't make a big deal out of it.

5. The documentary he did about "slumming it" was amazing viewing, and was seen as great by natives (well, at least the ones on my twitter feed) because they felt it portrayed the problem there and could provoke the local government to actually do something about it.

6. He had a real job before ending up on tv doing light installations. And if you google about the light installations he worked on, they're all so pretty... (although to be fair, Jade Goody was a dental nurse before appearing on Big Brother, so that's a real job too ^_^)

7. He keeps his kids away from the camera. (This I can credit Jo Brand for too.)

Click "I like this" Let me know if you want me to do another one about Robert Llewellyn. That said, you may have been nauseated by my gushing. I don't agree on McCloud's WWF work, but he's still awesome...

Edit: Removed what now looks like midnight-whoring.
(mmmm curry doesn't really understand this sig lark, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 0:17, 7 replies)

Jamie Fucking Oliver
Tosser...fucking Tosser of the highest pedigree! First of all i bet is food tastes Shyte.Then he is a scruffy looking cunt who like to preach to people what they should eat,well if i could afford fucking smoked Salmon and rare T bone steak every meal i would fucking eat it!
Just the look at this tosser or mention of his name totally fucks me off!
(grimlock1975, Mon 8 Feb 2010, 23:56, 9 replies)

A Mistaken Identity
Fame as she walked at evening in a city saw the painted face of Notoriety flaunting beneath a gas-lamp, and many kneeled unto her in the dirt of the road.

"Who are you?" Fame said to her.

"I am Fame," said Notoriety.

Then Fame stole softly away so that no one knew she had gone.

And Notoriety presently went forth and all her worshippers rose and followed after, and she led them, as was most meet, to her native Pit.

(Lord Dunsany)
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Mon 8 Feb 2010, 23:27, 1 reply)

Joe bloody Longthorne
He isn't as famous as he was but if you know people of a certain age in Hull they will always rant on about how wonderful he is... he just isn't, at all, even slightly. Whoop, he sings songs by other people...yay, he did a show in Vegas.... bluergh...

If you born and raised in Hull you are somehow defective if you dont think he is great. Blah.

Edit: have fixed the pooh spelling...
(gbird is still waiting for her smoked kippers...., Mon 8 Feb 2010, 23:23, 1 reply)

I hate every single player and member of staff at Manchester City FC
for fucking up my accumulator and losing me £4,000 because they couldn't beat hull
(NuffMuff fucks shrubbery, Mon 8 Feb 2010, 23:16, 28 replies)

People, people, people...
WHY has no one mentioned Richard Littlejohn yet? Why? Too obvious?
( Sonic the Hedgetrimmer doesn't care what you think, Mon 8 Feb 2010, 22:17, 3 replies)

Any of the panel of Dragons Den
Gawd I hate them with a passion, every last man and woman.
They sum up the slimy, sleazy MBA suit infested mentality that is rotting this country, with their patronising small minded inneundo about how wonderful *they* are and how shite everyone else is.

What is worse they then end up as celeb themselves.

Oh fer fucks sake, theives and whores the lot of 'em
(Sir Tainley Barking Ezekiel 23:20, Mon 8 Feb 2010, 22:10, 5 replies)

Apart from the famous people already mentioned a dozen times each...
Gina Yashere. Yes, you're of Nigerian descent, we get it. It wasn't even funny the first time.

Andy Parsons. Or. Anyone. Who. Thinks. It's. Acceptable. To. Talk. Like. This.

Anyone off of The Hills. Especially Spencer Pratt. Total fuck-knuckle. Sums up everything I dislike in a person.

Madonna. Put your vagina away, at least for the sake of your children.
(KneelDiamond, Mon 8 Feb 2010, 21:43, 1 reply)

Jennifer Aniston makes me angry in ways you can't fathom
I grew up in the age of Jennifer Aniston's hair. Jennifer Aniston. She just has the best hair, doesn't she? I wish I could have hair like hers. Oh wow, this magazine is telling me how I can get hair just like Jennifer Aniston. Don't you just LOVE her hair? I'm going to get my hair cut like her. Oh em gee, she got voted "best hair in Hollywood" by People magazine! And they included instructions on how to get her "look." Cool, now I can get hair like Jennifer Aniston's without going to a professional!

And so on. For an eternity. For no perceptible reason.

Fuck you, Jennifer Aniston. Fuck you and your stupid valley-girl hairdo. You have cheap looking roots and cheap looking streaks. I hold you responsible for that horrible fashion trend where women wanted cheap, fake looking streaks of blond in their hair. You made millions of women want to look like $2 hookers. I don't even know why so many people love your hair, cunt, you're painfully average.

You are tacky, Jennifer Aniston. Not just your hair, everything about you is tacky. But the bizarre phenomenon surrounding your hair makes me want to set you on fire.

Choke on a donkey dick.
Thanks,
Alison
(Exempt OH WOW, VICODIN, Mon 8 Feb 2010, 21:40, 3 replies)

Jennifer Aniston..
Ugh..

Just..Fuck off..

You were famous for Friends(Over rated shyte) ,getting dumped by Brad Pitt (for the better I feel) and making a string of pathetic romantic comedies where everyone loves you in the end, well I don't.


Sorry..
(Tangerine_Avenger, Mon 8 Feb 2010, 19:58, Reply)

Chris Moyles
Utter twat of the higest order!
You're fat and have a big mouth, ok we get it. Now shut it and play some music.
(Fishbone-didi, Mon 8 Feb 2010, 19:43, Reply)

Halifax adverts
trust me that is NOT the reward horn
(DryGoldfish, Mon 8 Feb 2010, 19:43, 3 replies)

Trinny and Susannah
reading a post where there name was mentione reignited my hatred of them. Now let's be fair, look at them. Who are they to tell people how to dress? They look like they got trapped under an avalanche of M&S's finest beige clothing. All they do is feel each other up and assume they know about style. The women they deal with look better before trinny and susannah lay a hand on them.
So what if you're 50 and dressing in bright colours?...as long as you're happy who are two closet-lesbian frumpy bullies to tell you otherwise!
(stitched, Mon 8 Feb 2010, 18:16, 1 reply)

I'm not sure how some people
can become so fucking popular after their atrocities. Cheryl Cole for example, lovely Queen Cheryl as the tabloids see her was charged with racially aggravated assault and ABH not so long back, though was aquitted of the racial assault and was 'only' found guilty of ABH. ABH ffs.

And Piers 'shoe-faced fuckwit' Morgan. Anyone remember why he got the boot from the Mirror? Faking photos of a British Abu Graib-a-like which were shown to be blatant fakes. An invidious waste of flesh who deserves nothing less than to be sat on a bacon slicer and have to eat himself in sandwiches until all that's left is a brain stem and a digestive tract with a stomach on the end.

and of course, Michael McIntyre and Bono, 'nuff said, etc etc.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 8 Feb 2010, 17:38, 4 replies)

A small list
Peter "Girls Shag Me Cos I'm Rich" Stringfellow
Dennis Wise Wobbly Eyes
Paul "Can't Cunting Talk Proper" Merson
Fearne "Stinky Knickers" Cotton
Jo "Name Dropper" Whiley
Scott "Wank me silly, I'm a big homo" Mills
Skinny Trinny and Fatty Susannah
Go Wank (anag)
Nicholas "I was good as a youngster, but now I am older I am shit" Lyndhurst
Ashley Cole (if I was John Terry, I'd have fucked his wife over that french tart).
That Fat Go Compare fuck and his wanky tache
(FUXTIX Not my words, Carol, Mon 8 Feb 2010, 17:13, 3 replies)

Ian McShane

It was love at first sight. I'd just turned away from the bar with a glass of wine in each hand when I bumped into Ian McShane (that's Lovejoy to you oiks), from the way he licked his lips and smoothed back his wavy hair while surreptitiously (not) looking down my top, I knew he'd fallen for my 'charms'. It was a Friday night at the Packhorse and Talbot on Chiswick High Road and I was there with a mate from work. Ian was there with a pack of hangers-on, one or two looked slightly familiar but I couldn't place them.

McShane was clearly three quarters pissed, as I could tell when he stopped at our table on the way back from the bar. He had another two glasses of wine and he placed them over-carefully on our table before inviting himself to sit down. Now, I have to admit that I was a bit of a fan in those days and also single. To cut a long, rambling story short we ended up back at my place (the kids were with their father that weekend). Ian spotted a bottle of scotch and helped himself, while I slipped into something more comfy (and a little less grey and frayed).

So, why do I hate him? Well, he broke off a deep meaningful kiss for a huge burp then wondered why I didn't want to resume. Sighing, he then loosened his trousers, released the beast and bid me: "Get on with it love." Not wishing to disappoint, I took him in my mouth and gave him my best effort - and I have it on good authority that it is good. Half way through he gave me an encouraging "Oh yes, that's good. But can you get your tits out love?". Once more I obliged, and resumed work, this time with the Lovejoy mits all over my boobs. I managed to carry on when he started pinching my nipples and I didn't complain when he pushed me off just as he started to cum and got it all over my neck and tits. I didn't say anything as he slumped back on the sofa without a word of thanks, burped again, asked where the toilet was, disappeared, threw up in the toilet and didn't flush.

"Bye love!" he shouted as he opened the front door and stumbled down the steps, looking around for a taxi.

I rushed to the door but realised just in time that I was topless and covered in spunk, I opened the door a crack and shouted through the gap,

"McShane you bastard, come back and fuck me"

"Sorry love, I'm on a promise."

That's why I hate him.

Still, I did have series One of Lovejoy on video, so I stuck it on and frigged myself silly to it while rubbing his cum all over my chest.
(K.W.A. Knickers With Attitude, Mon 8 Feb 2010, 16:27, 7 replies)

A special place in hell for these two:
1) Rick Parry
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rick_Parry

For his odious transfer dealings and underhand shafting of Middlesbrough football club over the years. Even Liverpool fans hate him.

blogs.telegraph.co.uk/sport/robstewart/8745907/Rick_Parry_Middlesbroughs_Mr_Popular/

2) Kelvin MacKenzie

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kelvin_MacKenzie

If you think Piers Morgan is bad then this guy is UNBELEIVABLE. No doubt Liverpool fans will agree with this one too. Sorry if they aren't famous enough, but they are definitely worth your contempt.
( TheFinch is getting to grips with the complex plane on, Mon 8 Feb 2010, 16:20, 5 replies)

If no-one has mentioned this person yet, then something is wrong.
There is, in my opinion, one person who sums up everything that is wrong with humanity. I became aware of this walking collection of each and every one of my personal dislikes a number of years ago.

I was married to someone with very different personal tastes to myself, and as such was often forced to watch TV that made me want to spew shit out of my face towards the screen. I fully believe that my IQ was stunted a good ten points by simply having been made to sit through that shit, and can only thank my lucky stars we split up before "Two pints of shit and a frontal lobotomy" became popular enough to register on her radar. (I don't include Sheridan Smith in that, she's alright. There are a couple of things I find interesting about her.)

There, in the middle of this pile of festering wank that poured from the screen every weekend in massive, 4 hour long omnibusses (omnibi?) was this person, like a tapeworm threading it's way through a massive pile of loose stools.

The shit started out on hollyoaks, where he played a character almost as unsavoury as his "real life" persona. He appeared on a slew of shitty celeb-hosted chat shows, talking about how amazing he was. But it was during "Celebrity Love Island" that I decided I would run him over if ever I was lucky enough to get the opportunity.

I speak, of course, about Paul Danan. Never heard of him? Of course not, he's a minor, Z-list celebrity. If you are ever unfortunate enough to be flicking past E4 while he's making one of his bi-annual forays into the world of fame, you will think you are staring at some megastar who you have somehow only just become aware of.

Never before have I seen someone so in love with himself whilst being completely oblivious to how obnoxious, sleazy and downright thick they are being. All the big character flaws are present; stupidity? Check. Self absorbed? Check. Mouthy and obnoxious? Check and check. This, added to the fact that his eyebrows alone have more character than the rest of his body all adds up to him being probably the biggest cunt the world has ever spawned.

I am half convinced he wasn't born, but concocted in a vat from the distilled juices of failed Big Brother contestants.
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Mon 8 Feb 2010, 15:56, 4 replies)

Nicholas Parsons
I accidentally caught the start of Just A Minute on Radio 4, and remembered a crappy TV programme about Celebrities Who Can't Drive from a few years back. If I'm to believe what I saw, Mr Parsons believes that He Is An Important Person to whom trivial things like road safety and the Highway Code shouldn't possibly matter, what with him being From The Telly and that. Based on this quarter of an hour alone, I deemed him to be a pompous arsehole and therefore hate him.
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Mon 8 Feb 2010, 15:48, 2 replies)

Lee Evans.
He fails the basic requisite of a comedian by being desperately unfunny, has the most annoying voice in the world, and sweats like a guilty pig in a sauna.
(Tugnut I got them all..., Mon 8 Feb 2010, 15:46, 7 replies)

I've always tried to hold myself to the principle
that you should never like something just because everybody else does, but I also believe that you should never dislike something just because everybody else likes it either.

I know several people (as I'm sure everyone does) who take weird stands against things simply because they are popular or well liked. I know of one person who refuses point blank to play the new COD game and proclaims it to be shit and rubbish compared to the first one, despite never having played it. Simply because others say otherwise.

So I've always tried to follow my own compass in matters of personal taste. I like Michael McIntyre, there I said it. My musical taste includes some scarily wide variety, and has recently (and startlingly) widened to even include folk who, before, were massively shit in my eyes (I caught myself singing along to Robbie Williams in the car the other day, and went as far as to actually play Paolo Nutini on a Juke Box, which didn't sit well in beside the heavy rock that bookended it) I don't care if they're popular or regarded as massive cunts, I rather like em.

The one thing which I find myself letting public opinion sway me on, however, is celebrity. I remember the first time I saw the Avid Merrion character, following Jamie Oliver along a road and shouting at him. I thought he was hilarious. Then the chavs caught on and I lost interest. I almost died laughing the first time I saw little britain. Then it became popular and I started thinking it was shit.

It's not everything that this affects, just people who become popular with a certain section of society. Stephen Fry is unaffected, I think he's great. Ditto Frankie Boyle. I think mainly it's E4. Anything that appears on that cesspool of a channel is instantly shit in my mind. I might be missing out on some of the countries top young talents, but I don't care. They're on there, they're associated, therefore, with Hollyoaks (the cause of the downfall of western civilisation) and are obviously cunts.

A short list of people I am barely aware of yet have an underlying seething hatred towards are:
Alan Carr
Fearne Cotton
Justin Lee Collins (though less so since he started doing Oops TV)

And I've just remembered another one, who will need his own post.
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Mon 8 Feb 2010, 15:30, 3 replies)

David cunt fucking
Tennant, russel T davies and all the other bollock licking turd swines who have anything to do with the new Dr Who. They have destroyed the program with their pandering to mass media scriptlines instead of looking after the avid fans who kept it alive over the decades. Hartnell through to McCoy were genuine Drs who cared about the part and gave each Dr a different personality, but this new crap i now refuse to watch, i just watch old episodes on video.

Torchwood? I shit it.
( Trollman, Mon 8 Feb 2010, 15:26, 25 replies)

Sally Webster
I don't really follow the soaps but Mrs Duck watches them all and I end up watching a few

Corrie is the only one I half way appreciate because it has some genuinely great comic moments in it. But every time Sally Webster whines onto the screen she makes my shit itch

I hope her tits rot off
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Mon 8 Feb 2010, 15:19, 5 replies)

Robert Mugabe
He's quite unpleasant isn't he? He sits at the head of a government of thugs. He's ruined his country's economy, causing terrible shortages; his goons have evicted and viciously beaten hundreds of farmers; he's ordered the deaths of countless ordinary people as well as illegally imprisoning and torturing the leader of the opposition; he has lined his pockets with what little is left of his country's wealth and to top it all off he compares himself to Hitler.

Give me Jordan any day.
( Scrumper, Mon 8 Feb 2010, 15:01, 7 replies)

Stephen Fry
Just because nearly everyone here seems to love the bender so much.


Do you know who I really admire:

Jordan, she just oozes class you ignorant fools
(NuffMuff fucks shrubbery, Mon 8 Feb 2010, 14:31, 6 replies)

Barack Obama
Who the FUCK does he think he is? Shaft?!
( Extinct Jesus Dossier "...I think it counteracts Hitler's magic...", Mon 8 Feb 2010, 14:06, 7 replies)

I've never heard of most of these people.
"Jordan" for instance, whoever she is. And Jeremy Kyle, and Bono. If you don't like these people, then how do you know so much about them?

Personally, I simply ignore them. I find it much more satisfying than wasting my energy ranting about them.

I would walk past most of the so-called "celebrities" mentioned here in the street simply because I don't know who they are. I'm too busy with my own life to concern myself with those of others.

What you don't realise is that even if you hate someone, you're playing into their hands.

Look at Jade Cunt-Cancer Goody for instance. I don't hate her. I don't think she's stupid. I'll tell you what she is - she's an absolute genius, a spin doctor of the highest order. How do you think she made her money before she carked it? Everyone had something to say about her, whether it was good or bad.

Watch Absolute Power with Stephen Fry sometime. It might give you an insight into how these people work.
(Half of Stephen Fry's right buttock pissed on your dog on, Mon 8 Feb 2010, 14:03, 3 replies)

Bono
Gotta be hasn't it.

Telling us to part with our hard earned cash by doing a charity concert for wherever. Fuck off Bono i had to by a new boiler that fucked my finances up for the next 6 months.......why don't you dip your hand into your pocket just give the money that you will raise from the people (easily affordable for sucha rich cunt)and everyone would be happy!!

I have an idea for the next tour, don't bother fucking doing it. Just imagine the saving on the huge carbon footprint you cause lugging your gear from town to town. Then your really would be doing your bit for the environment.

The thing that really gets me about this cunt is, he once had a hat flown x amount of miles because he had fogotten it and then has the nerve to preach to us about the environment..........cunt!

Apologies for the amount of "cunts" in this post. when Bono is the subject header it's hard not too!
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Mon 8 Feb 2010, 13:31, 1 reply)