Me and my little brother
grew up in the early 90s, and as such we grew up watching what was then known as the WWF. Despite all the stupid warnings, every Sunday we would have a wrestling match against each other, usually after we'd been sent to bed, to prolong the night before another week of itchy school uniforms, semi melted club bars and soggy Marmite sandwiches.

This tradition gave my mum something of an aneurism, since me and my brother shared a room and we had a paper thin floor. Couple that with the fact that we were both freakishly tall and stockily built for our age, many an evening was spent with cheap artex falling like chav-snow in the room below thanks to our well executed suplexes and bodyslams.

But we took it quite seriously. We'd tie shoelaces round our arms and try in vain to rip old T shirts a la Hulk Hogan. And then one day we decided to emulate the Ultimate Warrior. For those too proud to admit to watching the wrestling, he was renowned for wearing facepaint. And because the year was 1991 and nearly everything in the western hemisphere was red white and blue thanks to Gulf War 1, the Ultimate Warrior also had a habit of wearing red white and blue facepaint.

But where to get it?

Bedroom - nothing.
Kitchen - nothing.
Tried crayons - didn't work.
Felt tips - not enough.
Tippex - weirdly, we weren't allowed to have Tippex.

Then...

Aquafresh.

The red white and blue stripes. It was as though God him/herself had put Aquafresh on this earth so me and my brother could actually dress accurately like our hero and pummel each other to mild bruising.

So, in a state of giddy anticipation, we boh rub copious amounts of Aquafresh into our faces.

And spend the next hour or so screaming like bitches as we try and remove big globs of it from our eyes and doing all we can to fix the burning sensation.

I was a supertwat since birth, it would seem.
(GONEism, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 19:36, 5 replies)

You, sir,
have received a click.
(Guizmeaux, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 20:15, closed)

did this in the early 80's
thank you, adam fucking ant.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 20:57, closed)

MMMMMM
good times, good times...
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 22:49, closed)

*click*
Stops laughing, wipes eyes, starts chuckling again...
( snee held his breath since, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 8:20, closed)

This is brilliant.
and "another week of itchy school uniforms, semi melted club bars and soggy Marmite sandwiches" is one of the most accurately evocative phrases I've ever heard. :)
( sanityclause is waiting until, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 13:35, closed)