Sunglasses
I always, always lose my sunglasses. It doesn't matter how many times I try to remember to put them in a sensible place, I will without fail put them in a spasticated place that was before unbeknownst to me. The ritual follows thus;

1) Ask everyone in the house if they have seen my sunglasses. They haven't, because rather unsuprisingly, they don't give a toss.

2) Search every room in the house. By search I mean walk into the room, stand and look at the surfaces from a safe distance, and walk out if they are not immediately obvious.

3) Ask everyone in the house if I might have left them in their room. No, I haven't. Could I please fuck off now.

4) Go back into the rooms and push things about to see if they're underneath.

5) Start berating my boyfriend about his uncaring attitude to my search. He asks me politely to fuck off.

6) In a slightly bewildered anger at the failure to find sunglasses, go back once again into rooms and hurl carefully selected soft things at walls, such as tissue box.

7) Cry.

8) Ask flatmates if they could check, as it really wouldn't take long. Have doors slammed in face.

9) Drive to Superdrug to obtain new sunglasses, whilst seething at the injustice in the world.

10) Realise that it is now winter, and that Superdrug has apparently not felt the need to stock up on sunglasses.

11) Cry, whilst sitting in car with strangers looking on bewildered.

12) Return home to find that boyfriend holding glasses which he has found in the middle of the kitchen table. Where I Just. Fucking. Looked.

13) Put sunglasses down 'in a safe place'.

14) Repeat.


EDIT: I just found them! It's been over a week this time....
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 20:14, 6 replies)

Ditto
But with gloves
(i should have joined myspace, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 20:39, closed)

this drives me mental
i have VERY sensitive eyes so, at the first sign of sunlight, i need to wear those sunglasses with the lenses screwed on. you know, the type the terminator wears. if i can't find them, i can't leave the house.
seriously.

whenever i see these glasses on sale, i buy about 4 pairs and stash 3 in the kitchen drawer.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 20:47, closed)

Two words:
Dollar Store!

er...Pound Store?
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 22:45, closed)

I call them
shit-for-shit-all shops
(misskitty reeks of sex and turpentine; laudanum afternoons, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 5:48, closed)

That's odd
I'm fairly sure my wife uses a different username on here... ;)
( sanityclause is waiting until, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 13:32, closed)

Funny
...I've got one of you at home. It's not just the sunglasses either. Cufflinks, credit cards, socks, traction engines, they all disappear into some vortex of impossibility.
These days, I say nothing, find The Infuriating Thing within ten seconds and silently hand them to the fuming object of my affections. Saves a lot of imaginative swearing. They are usually...on the kitchen table.
(picmaestress, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 17:03, closed)