Family codes and ritualsFreddy Woo writes, "as a child we used to have a 'whoever cuts doesn't choose the slice' rule with cake. It worked brilliantly, but it's left me completely anal about dividing up food - my wife just takes the piss as I ritually compare all the slice sizes."
What codes and rituals does your family have?
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chthonic, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 18:05)
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My family enigma code…I suppose my family had about the same amount of ‘oddishness’ as your regular family in 80s rural England. To help us cope my brother, sister & I developed a straightforward system of communication, to silently alert each other of goings on and wotnot in our home unit.
‘Thumbs up’ meant that Dad was well on the way to indulging in his ‘Saturday snooze-on-the-sofa’, and we would soon be able to sneakily turn off the Grand Prix qualifying and watch Knight Rider.
‘Wobbling the hand from side-to-side’ communicated the fact that Mum would soon be blubbing whilst watching ‘Surprise Surprise’ and we had to sound enthusiastic whilst slowly reversing out of the room when she began to speak of reuniting us all with ‘long lost Auntie Hilda’.
‘A light pat on the head’ indicated that Dad had hit the Drambuie with Tequila chasers pretty hard, that we were to not mention the Arab-Isreali conflict under any circumstances, and take our impending severe beatings with good cheer.
‘Tapping the wrist with two fingers’ meant that mother had mistakenly used fish tank gravel instead of roast potatoes again and we were to all discreetly dispose of the Sunday lunch whilst still complimenting her on her cooking skills.
‘3 full blinks and a touch of the chin’ signified that Granny was once again locked in her paranoid delusion that she was head of the CIA; and that we were to smile and nod when she despatched us on a mission to assassinate Fidel Castro using only our cunning and a bowl of finely chopped celery.
Using this simple code, my childhood passed with barely an unusual moment…
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Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 21 Nov 2008, 13:51,
2 replies)
grand prix is on a sunday, always has beenjust saying
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spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Sat 22 Nov 2008, 20:13,
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That's why I said 'Qualifying'...Which happens on a Saturday.
always has done.
No matter, I will gladly take my rare opportunity of smugness and promptly shove it so far up my arse that even Murray Walker will never find it...
Ironically, the GP qualifying comment was the only part of the entire post that was not utter and total bollocks.
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Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Mon 24 Nov 2008, 1:04,
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