Search for the Walrus inside yourself
Back in the day when cars still had cassette players instead of these fancy new CD deelies*, my parents had a box full of tapes, including one which contained the M People's Search for the Hero.

My father is rather a large gentleman, with a very deep voice and a formidable moustache. It would be unfair to say that he bears a passing resemblance to a walrus, but he does look a bit like a heftier version of Prof Lord Robert Winston.

Now the M People are most famous for Heather Small's unusually deep voice (for a female singer). Consider the first line of the song:
"Sometimes, a river flows but nothing breathes.
A train arrives but never leaves.
It's a shame."

On that last phrase, she does hit some pretty low notes. So my father, whilst pulled up at the traffic lights, this song running through the tape player and my sister and I in the back, decides to surprise us. At the right moment, this huge, wobbling walrus face turns round to us and bellows, in best basso profondo
"IT'S A SHAME!"
And left us laughing hysterically, to the point whereby every time this song was on the tape player, we'd sit there quietly hoping that Dad would do it again. We probably should have realised on subsequent occasions that it was better for him to keep his eyes on the road - at least, any resulting traffic incident would have been a bit tricky to explain to the police.

Today, I find I have been blessed, similarly, with a very low voice. Maybe in years to come, when I have my own sprogs, I shall be tempted to do the same to them, and make them laugh in the same way. I just fear that the hypothetical son will log on to b3ta years later and tell the story about his own Dad, turning round in the car like an oversized novelty crow and bellowing
"IT'S A SHAME!"

_{*Which invariably seem to break down, while the dealer and garage insist there's nothing they can do to repair it - couldn't you put a new one in? Oh nooo because that would mean you'd have to charge us more money, even though it's surely under a fucking warranty. You bone-idle sheisters.}
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 24 Nov 2008, 10:26, 4 replies)

I only drive bangers
with a working cassette player if I'm lucky.

Tapes're 20p from car boot sales or charity shops. I have hundreds.

Bet I don't have as much fun with them as you did though.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Mon 24 Nov 2008, 13:34, closed)

Argh
just thinking about that song makes me want to burst my own eardrums with a biro.
( stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Mon 24 Nov 2008, 17:10, closed)

To be honest,
(If I ever get a driving licence) there is minimal chance of that song ever passing through whatever music playing device my car utilises. My kids will probably get treated to "BOOOORIS THE SPIDER..." instead.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 26 Nov 2008, 13:55, closed)

My car has a cassette player!
It's very lovely
(The Oscillating Gibbon is eating curried squid, Tue 25 Nov 2008, 9:12, closed)