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This is a question Family codes and rituals

Freddy Woo writes, "as a child we used to have a 'whoever cuts doesn't choose the slice' rule with cake. It worked brilliantly, but it's left me completely anal about dividing up food - my wife just takes the piss as I ritually compare all the slice sizes."

What codes and rituals does your family have?

(, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 18:05)
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Family, pfft,
it's just me and Mr Quar and the cats'n'dogs these days.

When one of us humans is in danger of losing an argument or is otherwise put out, we taser each other with whatever electrical or battery instrument is to hand.

TV doofers, mobile phones, electric toothbrushes, wind-up torches, sex toys - all have been used to settle arguments.

No actual pain is inflicted. Rather, the idea is to subdue the other by ending a pointless discussion.

If we're out and no taser can be improvised, or in polite company where symbolic tasering is frowned upon, it is correct to instead make a low 'dzzzzz' sound, hopefully audible only to the tasee.

It is also acceptable to taser unpopular or ugly TV characters.
Pets can be tasered, but only when it's funny, as when A is stroking Cat B and saying 'Ahhh! Look at the kitteh!' and C reaches out a hand but instead of stroking Cat B, skilfully tasers her.

Remember, kids - the family that tasers together, staysers together.
(, Thu 27 Nov 2008, 12:34, 4 replies)
I find this sickeningly sweet
(, Thu 27 Nov 2008, 12:47, closed)
Sickeningly sweet, eh?
Dammit, there goes my hard-as-nails image.
(, Thu 27 Nov 2008, 12:57, closed)
This is what relationships are all about.
*goes out to buy a taser*

*misses point*
(, Thu 27 Nov 2008, 12:54, closed)
You could try
the sex toys!

(, Thu 27 Nov 2008, 12:58, closed)

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