Haven't really spoken to my great grandma in a few years
could be because she's 96, and forgets that I've spoken to her. It could also be because the last time she stayed with us she spent the whole time in the lounge doing crochet and yelling at my brother and I for taking up her space and being too noisy.

The crowning glory was when, her having taken up all the sofa space with cloth, I flopped down on the floor to watch The Simpsons. She looks up and says, quite calmly,
"You know, Sivvus, your brother is more ladylike than you'll ever be."
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:47, 5 replies)

She might have a point
if "flopping down" involved letting your growler hang out for all to see (and smell). Some young females these days have absolutely no idea about how to behave like ladies (ie with decorum and dignity, not like piss-swilling gobby harridans) and yet still bemoan the fact they get treated like shit.

One day you'll want a quiet life while some noisy little shit wants to watch the telly during your episode of Emmerdale Farm and you'll understand.
That said, even ladies fart and scratch their minge in their own house, so maybe she was being a little harsh on you.

You should talk to her anyway, she won't be around for long, and it's only after she croaks that you'll find out she was something really cool like a throat-cutting wartime spy, and you'll regret writing her off as a senile coffin-dodger. Many old folk got up to incredible stuff in their youth, they weren't always crochet fiends.
(Rsoles, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 14:31, closed)

hehe
by "flopping down" I meant that I sat on the floor rather than on a chair. I guess like every family we have our own colloquialisms... also, it's all very well to be ladylike when you've hit puberty, but I was only 11.

I've started writing to her recently, she hasn't written back yet but according to my nanny she liked the card. **shrugs**
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 14:41, closed)

Oh well
if she ignores her E-mails, fuck her.
(Rsoles, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 14:44, closed)