Family FeudsPooster tells us that a relative was once sent to the shops to buy an onion, while the rest of the family went on a daytrip while he was gone. Meanwhile, whole sections of our extended kin still haven't got over a wedding brawl fifteen years ago – tell us about families at war.
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 12:24)
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Aunty RaquelMy mum won't talk to her because she thinks she's a slag and it's all my fault...
Mum and my step-dad weren't getting on; she only stayed with him because of my little brother. They had moved up to Northumberland some time ago but both had spent most of their lives in Hertfordshire where I still lived. Ever more frequently, he kept inviting himself to stay at mine so that he could visit friends and family. I didn't really have much say in this given that he owned the house I was living in and I didn't pay any rent.
He went out most evenings, usually to have a meal with the aforementioned friends and family, sometimes he'd go to visit one of my mum's sisters, Raquel or Doris.
One time when he was down, my mum was having a poke around in his stuff and found a half-empty box of Viagra. He wasn't getting it on with mum but he had to be getting it somewhere.
Mum was on the phone to me, did I know what he was up to? No I didn't but she went on and on about it so just to be helpful, I suggested that maybe he was doing the deed with Aunty Raquel. This had a ring of truth about it, Raquel had a bit of a reputation, and she had once offered herself to Doris' oldest, allegedly. Pure speculation on my part though, just because he said he'd been to Raquel's for a meal, admittedly several times, he may have been lying. He could have been with an old flame, a prostitute, who knows.
Mum was convinced. I had suddenly become judge, jury and executioner. Raquel was the guilty party. A phone call to Doris confirmed her suspicion: Raquel is a slag.
Neither mum nor Doris has spoken to Raquel since, getting on for 15 years later.
Bloody awkward at family dos.
(Names changed just in case any of my family read this)
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stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 11:09,
3 replies)
"Getting on for 11 years later"Viagra Has only been available since 1998.
Signed, R.Soles the Pedant.
(, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 12:55, closed)
YesI over-estimated the length.
About 10 years then.
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stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 13:02,
closed)
To be fairI think it's pretty clear he was sticking it to your Auntie.
(, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 13:48, closed)
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