Off to Malta!
A few years ago I went off with my grandparents to Malta, which is somewhere near Italy, and I was around 8 at the time.

Now, on the whole, this was a pretty fun holiday, and my first time abroad.

However, there were a few things that have stuck with me since then, and really didn't make it that great.

On one of the days, we went off in a little boat to see some caves, and the water was really horrid and rubbish, which meant I got nice and scared. When looking back, they were probably just a little choppy, but to my mind they were bigger than the boat. Now, to emphasise the problem of me being scared, I thought that you shook when you had the frights, this got the attention of my grandma, who then put her coat over me because she thought I was cold.
There were about 3 other people in the boat apart from me and my granparents, and even at that tender age I felt like a retard having the coat put around my shoulders.
The second escapade, was much worse, and not really full of embarressment.
For a day, we decided to take a boat over to visit Scicily, where we'd see Mt Etna and some little village.
Now, the boat we decided to get on was a catamaran (I think that's what they're called) Where basicly it's like 2 small hulls in the water isntead of the traditional one, this makes them lighter I believe, and in rough seas they go all over the place.
Guess what the sea was like that day?
I managed to get to scily fine, but felt rather poo after it all. Firstly, we visited the nice little village, where there was some museum, and we tourists stopped off at some icecream place. After the years since then, I can still remember crying because they didn't have the icecream I wanted. Yes, I was a spoilt and silly kid when I was younger.
Then, we went off to Mt Etna, which wasn't too great, especially since once we got there, the coach driver decided to leave for an hour and a half while we froze our arses off in the snow, or crammed into a pastry shop. neddless to say, none of use were happy that about 2 weeks after we went there, Mt Etna decided to errupt.
However, the return journey back to malta wasn't fun, same boat, and the same horrid sea and the splashing of water on the windows.
This time, i was sick.
luckily I had a paper bag.
Now here's where I heard perhaps the most stupid question ever:
I had a sick bag in my hands.
i had sick over my mouth
The boat was rocking, so much so that almost everyone else on the boat was being sick too.
I looked like shit even without the vomit on me.
And then my grandad asks me "What's the matter?"
Holy fucking shit! What else could it be? Have i found a kitten and decided to hide it in teh sick bag? No! And surely, holding the bag to my mouth, while throwing up before I could answer, surely wouldn't give away the idea that I was using it for the intended use- to be sick in.
The rest of the holiday wasn't too good either really, we saw a stupid parade where floats and people dressed as romans walked along, and then when we left because we were bored some crazy itallian guy started shouting at us.
Crazy days those were.
(River of Squid has a variety of lemons in his pocket, Mon 6 Aug 2007, 23:55, Reply)