Jeremy Clarkson and the Marlboro Lights.
Oooh, this has to be better than meeting Fleetwood in The 'Pool I think!

Anyway, it was in November 2007 when I was granted access to the mythical Top Gear studio down in Godalming, the deep heart of Surrey.

I approached this day with great trepidation as I'd heard all kinds of stories about Clarkson being a twat to people etc, and wasn't even sure it was gonna be a good'un. I needed not have been worried though, as between a lot of swearing between the presenters, and a lot of waiting about we had the obligatory tea break half way between filming. Basically it involved a lot of eating free crisps, smoking, drinking tea and waiting for the presenters to make an appearance. Cue half an hour of solid bodily abuse, and Clarkson makes an appearance and the first thing I thought wasn't 'man alive, he's a tall bloke' it was more 'fuck me, he looks ancient' - if any of you have met him, I'm sure you'll agree! I walked up to him, and said "Hi", he said "Hey, what can I do for you?". I whip out a packet of Marlboro Lights and said "you couldn't sign these, could you?" to which he replies "Hang on mate, I need to get a pen and you know it's gonna cost you?". Now I'm thinking that all my childhood dreams of meeting him are gonna be shattered and he's gonna start being a twunt. But no, I asked him how much and to my surprise he said "Can I have a fag, please?" took one, lit it, went off to get a pen, came back and signed the little gold and white box! Job done!

Length? I'm not sure. The fag was a few inches, and he's tall!
(Mr. Cunt put the indy in kindy., Sat 18 Apr 2009, 15:09, Reply)