Stephen Malkmus, Ian MacKaye, Deerhoof, Ted Leo, Travis Morrison, Dan Deacon and Andrew Falkous
I generally act / talk like a total dick around people I admire. I get so worked up at making the best impression possible and making the most of a once in a lifetime opportunity, that I often come across as a total weirdo (more-so than usual) much to the derision of anyone I know who was in earshot.

1. Stephen Malkmus.

It was a last minute gig at a small bar in Cardiff on the Pig Lib tour, only a handful of people turned up. After the gig concluded with a rendition of Jenny & The Ess-Dog where the drummer sang, Stephen played drums and the other two performed a literal re-enactment of the lyrics, Stephen got off the stage and headed through the crowd towards the door. I think everyone was a little too star-struck to say anything (OMG Pavement man within metres), but as he was walking past I managed a "Great set Steve" at which point he walked over and said "Hey thanks, glad you enjoyed it", physically positioning himself as though this were the start of a conversation as opposed to a walk-by thank you and goodbye. I froze up. I wasn't expecting to start a conversation with one of the wittiest men I know of whose music I'd admired for years. I ended up blubbing about Pig Lib and its differences to the first album. I ended up sounding like a verbal recital of the press release that came with the album. He was polite, it seemed to be going reasonably well considering. That was until I showed remorse at the lack of Dynamic Calories in the set. The conversation ended shortly after and Steve continued his walk out of the building. My friends, however had all the time in the world to point out what an excruciatingly embarrassing dork I had perfectly emulated just seconds prior. Gushing praise, laughing too hard, barely allowing him to fit a word in between my babble... Conclusion: I am a dork.

2. Ian MacKaye.

I saw The Evens on the day of the second-term-for-Bush American elections in a church in Newport. Afterwards people stuck around and Ian seemed happy to chat. Knowing that this man had experienced more in one year of his life than I have in the entirety of mine and whose genuine morals were an inspiration for thousands, I was determined to think of something interesting to say or ask him whilst others talked ahead of me. I ended up asking how come he was in the UK when the elections were happening in the US. He angrily reminded me of the existence of a postal vote and the conversation kind of ended there. Conclusion: I am stupid.

3. Deerhoof.

After seeing Deerhoof play live at The Garage a few years ago, I went to the merch stand afterwards with the intentions of picking up a t-shirt. The merch guy saw me staring and tried to sell me a copy of Reveille on CD. I explained to him that I already had the album and Holdypaws too but was just trying to find a t-shirt I liked. Evidently impressed that I wasn't one of the majority of the crowd who was just there on the strength of the hype surrounding The Runners Four, he said "Hey, do you want to go meet the band?". Before I knew it, we were in some private function room to the side of the venue, drinking and chatting with Chris Cohen & John Dieterich, but mainly Chris. He was a really friendly, really enthusiastic guy and although my drunken excitement has since forgotten a lot of the exact details of the conversation, we talked long about how he enjoyed the music, had to adapt the songs whilst playing live as Satomi's voice would otherwise be drowned out by his guitar and general conversation about bands we liked. Greg Saunier turned up after a while, but at that point I was so drunk that all I can really remember of him was how tall he was and how high pitched his laugh was. After the evening wrapped up, I caught an unmarked cab home, left a bag with my iPod in it in the cab and through anger at doing so afterwards, ended up breaking my mobile phone too. Conclusion: I have anger management issues.

4. Ted Leo.

I got more than a little overexcited at the idea of my current musical obsession playing in the UK. Embarrassing to look back at now, but seemed so reasonable at the time.

-----Original Message-----
From: ma0sm
Date: 2005/1/6
Subject: OM-FREAKIN'-G TED FREAKIN' LEO's FREAKIN' UK TOUR
To: ...
Cc: Ted Leo


Yoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyo

Yo

Yo.

NO WORDS ARE NEEDED.

(other than these)

02-26-05
Leeds, UK
Joseph Wells

02-27-05
Norwich, UK
Ferry Boat

02-28-05
Manchester, UK
Staring Gather

03-01-05
Glasgow, UK
Nice and Sleazys

03-03-05
Exeter, UK
Cavern Club

03-04-05
London, UK
Silver Rocket Club

03-05-05
Nottingham, UK
The Maze

For all of those too FREAKIN' STUPID to know their guppo from their goodge, this is TED FREAKIN' LEO, playing in a tiny FREAKIN' CLUB in LONDON.

Ted Leo's great, I'm thinking of buying all of the tickets so I can enjoy the night alone. Go TED LEO (and pharmacists)!

Seriously, I'm sending you this email because if you haven't already, then you should own at least one Ted Leo album (Hearts Of Oak my personal favourite) and should be as excited as I am about this absolute FREAKIN' GENIUS playing crazy music to crazy people. It's in a couple of months, so you've got time to find out how fantastic he is in the meantime and then join me on the excitement train (http://images.google.co.uk/images?hl=en&lr=&safe=off&c2coff=1&q=%22excitement+train%22).

All apart from Andrew that is, but he just doesn't like it because I do (probably).

Regards,

ma0sm

P.S. Ted, I've CCed you on this message so that all of these people will now feel obliged to get an album and will inevitably be there for
at least one of the dates.

-----Reply Message-----
From: teddy
Date: 2005/1/10
Subject: Re: OM-FREAKIN'-G TED FREAKIN' LEO's FREAKIN' UK TOUR
To: ma0sm

Thanks ma0sm... um... Guess I'll see you there then?
xo -- TL


5. Travis Morrison

I really need to start proof reading my enthusiasm. Though he I still have never heard "When Have I Ever Been Known To Say No?".

-----Original Message-----
From: ma0sm
Sent: Thursday, September 30, 2004 8:40 AM
To: Travis Morrison
Subject: When Have I Ever Been Known To Say No?


Hi,

Firstly let me say congratulations on the new album! It's been worth the wait and import costs! I don't mean to clog up your inbox but my
cat-like curiosity has prevailed and I don't know what other avenue to take... I'm fairly certain that over the years I've collected the
entire Dismemberment Plan back catalogue with the exception of one song mentioned in your discography, "When Have I Ever Been Known To
Say No". Since this song was cassette only, I'm guessing that the chances of getting this song or that tape are virtually zero, but I
was wondering if there are any avenues I could take to hear this song. I know it's a bit excessive, but with the archived Plan site
displaying the discography loud and proud, my curiosity got the better of me. Anyway, I hope all is well and would feel no offence if you
don't have time to reply.

Regards,

ma0sm

-----Reply Message-----
2004/9/30 travis morrison

Hmm. You know, I don't have a copy. But I should search it out. Thanks for putting that bee in my bonnet.

-T


Here's another from Travis Morrison in reply to his request for discovering the music polluting coffee shops and other non-public owned public spaces internationally.

-----Original Message-----
From: ma0sm
Sent: Sunday, April 04, 2004 9:12 AM
To: travis
Subject: My Service Sector Classics

Hi,

Coming from the British 21 year old perspective, these are my five albums I associate with the bars & restaurants I have worked in over the years:

1. The Stereophonics – Word Gets Around

I know it may appear a strange choice on first glance, but being Welsh, and being brought up near where the Stereophonics come from, the first album created this unity amongst every person and generation in my home town of Bridgend. The mania didn’t even reach England until the next album’s release, but for about one solid year, every bar, restaurant, shop, you name it had this album on rotation. I think it was the patriot coming through with everyone and the distinct inoffensiveness of the album. Needless to say, by the second album when people were actually starting to notice them, the backlash was in full swing in my home town.

2. The Gotan Project - La Revancha del Tango

When I worked in Bar Haha, this album was so overplayed to the extent that I didn’t even hear it when it was on any more, if you know what I mean. It’s a great album, and St Germain’s Tourist seemed to be their other favourite.

3. Zero 7 – Simple Things

4. Any Portishead album

I know you mentioned it already, but coincidentally the discussion came up last night with me and some friends about how one bar we go to has the CD in their three disc changer permanently!

5. Any Ben Harper album

Regards,

ma0sm

-----Reply Message-----
From: travis morrison
Sent: 06 April 2004 19:22:56
To: ma0sm

Ben Harper? really? I figured he was part of that American pop-hippie tradition that Europe is so immune to. Like Dave Matthews.

Kind of like how we are immune to British Isle hero-arena-folk-rock like the Stereophonics, New Model Army, and (forever mystifying) the Manic Street Preachers. Stuff to pogo to on the pitch of Wembley. Football rock! That's what it should be called.

-T



I've also befriended Travis Morrison & Dan Deacon on Facebook and am tempted to add Andrew Falkous too, though am sure it wouldn't be accepted. I've seen Future Of The Left five times live, but have never said hello as I'm guessing Falco's general level of anger and intolerance of idiocy wouldn't tolerate my dorkiness.

I'm not proud.
( ma0sm, Tue 21 Apr 2009, 14:43, 3 replies)

Rock Me Amadeus was shite
I'd be angry if i was him. And still alive.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Apr 2009, 16:31, closed)

indeed
Him of mclusky future of the left fame is a bit of a intimidating chap with his bile and anger and whatnot.
(Pat_Gash, Tue 21 Apr 2009, 16:31, closed)

Another fellow
from Bridgend eh? Glad to know other b3tans know the horror that it is.
(Evilweevil is covered in bees, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:57, closed)