Jessicka Fodera and Jimmy Saville!
For anyone that doesn't know, Jessicka was the singer of a band called Jack off Jill (JOJ), and is currently the singer of a band called Scarling.

Since I was about 15 (10 years ago, now), I really got into JOJ and had a bit of a thing for Jessicka; I'm not sure why, probably just the main focus of my teenage hormones!

Now, I never got to see JOJ as they never played the UK, and was a bit disappointed when they split up at the start of this century, but these things happen..

I'd heard in 2002/3 that Jessicka was in another band, Scarling, and that they were going to play in the UK for the first time, needless to say I was a little giddy, and dragged my girlfriend along with me down to the Purple Turtle in London to finally see the woman perform. It wasn't a huge affair, a lot of pretentious scenester types there, as well as internet-fame manwhore Jeffree Star (who it turns out was doing the band's makeup) who it appeared was trying to convince one of the pretentious types to let him vacuum the snake, so to speak.

The gig was good, not great, but we had lots of fun, and the people were nice enough (aside from said pretentious pricks) - on a side note, it was also quite strange having a pee next to Simon Price, the music journalist who was running the club night after the gig.

Anyway, after the gig, I got talking to a few members of the band, and they were all lovely (they gave me and my GF a load of free merch because we were the only people that would bother talking to them), but Jessicka wasn't there, and we inquired if she would be coming out. The response was a little disheartening:

"She doesn't like to talk to people that much, and usually avoids the crowds."

Bum.

About an hour later my girlfriend was feeling a bit ill so we decided to leave. As we exited the club, outside, on her own, was Jessicka. I felt a sudden wave of excitement, and tried as hard as I could to compose myself and approach her.

ME: "Excuse me, I uh.. er.."

HER: "Yes?"

ME: "I uhm... wow."

MY GF: "Excuse him, he thinks you're great"

Jessicka just smiled and gave me a hug. I mumbled "thanks", and that was that. I was too giddy and bumbling to say anything more. I felt like a bit of an idiot afterwards, but it was nice to get a sympathy hug off of one of your favourite vocalists for being inept at speaking.

4 months later, Scarling played Leeds - yay, no travelling this time! I once again got to meet Jessicka, but I was far more composed (read: drunk) and got to actually say how much I enjoyed her music etc etc. and she planted a kiss on my hand. Sadly, she was wearing some cheap shitty lipstick, and I now have a tiny scarred patch on the back of my right hand where I had an allergic reaction to the lippy... Bugger. I'm not much of a fan now...

:(


Now then, Jimmy Saville..

I've met Jimmy a couple of times in Leeds, and the guy is a complete fruitcake:

The first meeting was at an Indian Restaurant, a few minutes from where Jimmy lives - he stumbled in, smoked a cigar and looked around for anyone who was willing to have a chat.

We were paying our bill at the time, and Jimmy walks up and gives a 'How do?', I respond to the positive, and return the question, he replies with '10 out of 10 lad, 10 out of 10.. but now it is time to don my disguise!'

He proceeds to pull his wooly hat over his head, puts his sunglasses onto his face which is now covered by the hat, exclaims 'ohhh, I can't see lad!', stumbles out of the restaurant, and proceeds to drive his car in reverse (no word of a lie) all the way back to his flat. - I must add that he did remove the hat before getting into the car, but still..

Mental.

The second time was at a (now closed) Cantonese restaurant . My girlfriend and I were waiting for a table, as was Jimmy, and we were having a bit of a banter he was wearing a green and black Adidas shellsuit, with the jacket opened to reveal a Rab C. Nesbitt-esque string vest, ewww. For some reason, he kept asking my girlfriend to sit on his knee, or that she looked a bit tired and that she can have a nap under his chair (???).

He then gets seen to his table, which is right next to the waiting area, Jimmy then turns round, looks me in the eye and says "Now then, don't you be dipping your hand in my pockets and stealing all my jewels!"

My girlfriend replies with "We wouldn't think of it Jimmy!"

Jimmy shot back with "I know *you* wouldn't because you're lovely, but him (pointing at me), he looks a bit shifty"


Insulted by a geriatric nutter..


Forget Length, It's scarred and covered in jingle-jangle-jewellery
(Lythium deals in lead, my friend., Tue 21 Apr 2009, 16:42, 4 replies)

Saville is terrifying
When he finally croaks things will come out, mark my words....

He used to be feared throughout clubland in the 60s, with very good reason. That's clubland as in The Krays etc...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Apr 2009, 17:10, closed)

^ Crikey, that's a bit scary

Whenever I've seen him about, he's just had this mischievous loon aura about him, but I'd dread to think there was something sinister in there that might snap!
(Lythium deals in lead, my friend., Tue 21 Apr 2009, 17:35, closed)

a FOF's dad
is/was a gangland villain, and had remarked one day that there was only a small handful of people of who he was genuinely scared and whose threats he would take in deadly seriousness - and Saville was top of the list.

Torture, kidnap and general 'enforcer' type behaviour was the kind of thing suggested. And he was a wrestler at one point and consequently wasn't exactly scared of a fight.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Apr 2009, 17:48, closed)

It's only just dawned on me
It's only just dawned on me but tracksuits and medalions seem nowadays to be the accepted attire for urban gangsters.... it would appear that Jimmy the pistol whippin , hoe slappin, wish fixin motherfucker was ahead of them all... SO FUCK YOU COOLIO YA FUCKIN CONFUSED 'THINKS HES A GANSTER YET GOES ON BIG BROTHER FUCKNUGGET' ....

I clearly needed to get that off.. phew.
(The Cats Twat, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 21:09, closed)