* PFFT *I've been pretty farty all week, but 2 large helpings of sausage and lentil stew last night have really tipped things over the edge. I swear you can see these ones.
I'm here at work trying to hold them in so I (a) don't have to keep nipping to the loo like a madman and (b) don't gas half the office, but it's becoming increasingly difficult. I might rupture something if I'm not careful.
Tell us all about your own fartiness.
(
chthonic, Fri 13 Jul 2007, 14:01)
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My fartsonly happen once in a very big while, but when they do happen nobody is there. I'm polite, so i keep my farts for my own entertainment. Apart from the school Ginger Jehovas Witness. He was alright and everything, but you just got pissed off at his parents knocking on your door so you need to somehow exact your revenge upon their next of kin. So big was this rage then whenever i was in a class room with him i would be able to brew up the most loud, foul smelling arse gas bomb imaginable. So naturally I stroll past him to the front to get some more notepaper and as i walk past him, unleash gassy, smelly brown fog hell into his face.
Here is the general plan of action which i think is best described through the medium on MS Paint:
Here is the general layout of the classroom, showing me, the Jehovas Witness and the teacher. So i walk past him and fart on him. Simple enough.
Unfortunately one day I departed my desk, and as I began my normal route i felt a slight disturbance in the force...A certain lateness or feeling of impending doom.
As i left the teachers desk I unleashed the Demon in a flurry of gas and an ear splitting death rattle.
On the teacher.
Cue certain amount of laughter which was eventually shut off after five minutes, and an hours detention for me.
It was SO worth it.
(, Fri 13 Jul 2007, 17:12, Reply)
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