When I was a nipper
I was tiny. I mean, all kids are tiny, but I was really tiny. I was in primary 3, and we were getting a maths lesson, so, as young uns do, we were all sitting cross legged on the floor listening to the teacher. I had been holding a fart in for ages, due to the fact that it ws a small classroom and there were girls sat next to me, even back then I had a sense of chivalry, but the small fart which I had originally been holding in had been joined by others, and they had merged into a colon stretching room shaker which I was finding it harder and harder to contain. And then I felt it. That weird, tickly sensation that heralds the imminent arrival of a sneeze. I knew what was going to happen. But like a road accident, I sat there and watched events unfold, powerless to stop them. The sneeze feeling grew and grew until finally "aaaaaah-choo *PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRP*" The terrifying suddenness of this cataclysmic bum tune shocked everyone in the room! The entire class turned round and stared, open mouthed, at the tiny person that this humungous breeze had came from. I mean everyone. The teacher stood there aghast. Thay sat there in stunned silence, the only sound was (and this is true) the fart echoing off down the corridor outside. No-one laughed. No-one said anything! After about 10 seconds, the teacher slowly went back to her lesson and if I recall correctly, not a single person mentioned it to me for the rest of the day!
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Sat 14 Jul 2007, 15:26, Reply)