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This is a question * PFFT *

I've been pretty farty all week, but 2 large helpings of sausage and lentil stew last night have really tipped things over the edge. I swear you can see these ones.

I'm here at work trying to hold them in so I (a) don't have to keep nipping to the loo like a madman and (b) don't gas half the office, but it's becoming increasingly difficult. I might rupture something if I'm not careful.

Tell us all about your own fartiness.

(, Fri 13 Jul 2007, 14:01)
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Food/alcohol poisoning
I got in one night after a particular heavy night of bbq food, strongbow, alocpops and neat spirits. Having then devoured my takeaway i was ready for bed

Little did i kno that an hour later id still be awake, writhing in agony from the paralysing bloatedness in my gut.

The next 6 hours i spewed every half hour or so a wonderful array of colours...

Then came the diahorrea and some of the worst smells of my life.

The next three days were a russian roulette of "was i gunna puke? burp? fart? or shit myself?" at every slight gurgle in my stomach. Turns out each time i felt gassy i was going to puke. Only after two days did things settle through my stomach and start coming out the other side. Sounds like an A bomb. there was nothing coming out but each time i had to give it legs to the bathroom just to make sure.

I wonder what my timid housemates thought at the time. then i realised they are bellends and i dont care.
(, Sun 15 Jul 2007, 15:22, Reply)

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