More foreign farts
Despite being on my best behaviour, having never worked with this particular crew before, I unfortunately succumbed to the delights of Czech lager whilst on a business trip to Prague. It was getting late, we were nicely oiled, and so decided to join one of those “Ghost Tours”, you know, where they wander round the streets making up nonsense and getting their mates to jump out on you with skeleton masks on to scare you.
Well, we tagged along (not paying, natch) and it became clear very quickly it was a dismal tour, but we stuck at it.
Soon, we found ourselves in a deserted alleyway somewhere in the winding backstreets and the guide gathered us round to tell us her spooky tale. She wittered on, and came to the point :

“…and so, the snow was falling, and ze wind vos howlink..”

At that precise moment, God intervened, froze time and space, pointed his erm, God-like finger, and commanded me :

“Do it now, my son, NOW!!!!”

I obeyed, leaning against the whitewashed walls of the covered alleyway, shifted my buttocks mere millimetres and dropped the loudest sheet-tearer you have ever heard, a real comedy fart. Apart from the fact it went on for 5 seconds, I swear it echoed round that alley for a further 15.
The whole tour wheeled to face me, as I vainly pointed at the poor sap standing next to me, but was obviously the culprit because
a. it hadn’t totally tailed off yet.
b. I was howling with laughter.

Well, that killed that particular part of the tour, and my attempt to create a good impression. As the tour continued on it's way, me still lying on the ground laughing, I did notice the only other people who found it the least bit amusing were the British participants. Hmmm.
(Rsoles, Mon 16 Jul 2007, 11:58, Reply)