* PFFT *I've been pretty farty all week, but 2 large helpings of sausage and lentil stew last night have really tipped things over the edge. I swear you can see these ones.
I'm here at work trying to hold them in so I (a) don't have to keep nipping to the loo like a madman and (b) don't gas half the office, but it's becoming increasingly difficult. I might rupture something if I'm not careful.
Tell us all about your own fartiness.
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chthonic, Fri 13 Jul 2007, 14:01)
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My girlfriend's dog......is the undisputed master of flatulence.
Bear in mind that this is a Jack Russell terrier, a small and unassuming thing. Here, look for yourself:
Have you ever seen anything so sweet and innocent looking?
The problem comes when Rosie eats grass. She doesn't do so often, fortunately- but when she does, her insides start to percolate. She'll be lying there and a symphony of weird sounds come from her belly, while she looks up at you with those big adoring brown eyes.
This will go on for days. No farts, just a lot of sound and fury signifying nothing. And the suspense builds.
Then after about a week of rumblings, there will be a horrifying stench that will cause me to throw open the windows in the middle of winter and threaten to throw her out of one of them from the second floor. At this point she's no longer so sweet and innocent.
(In all honesty, that picture was shot while I was holding a whoopie cushion. For some reason the sounds of it turned her into Beelzebub. And no, I didn't shop that picture at all- that's straight from the camera.)
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The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 16 Jul 2007, 19:15,
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