First time poster, long time lurker...
Two good farting stories, neither of them me, both at uni.

Story one. Lived in a house share with some mates, one of whom was on my course, one wasn't. One morning we were off to lectures, and the mate who wasn't on our course (lets call him "Neil") was in the bathroom. We waited for him for some time (he was going in with us to drop off an assignment), but he was taking a rather long time. In the end we decided to leave him to it, and he shouted that he would catch us up. Unbeknownst to us (but we were told by mate number 3) Neil had "crossbarred" on his way to the toilet. That is, as he pulled his trousers down he let rip and followed through. Into his jeans. And he was waiting for us to leave so he could run upstairs and change, but hadn't realised that mate 3 hadn't left...

Story 2. Night out drinking. Mate liked this girl, and had done for some time to no avail. Mate 2 decided it would be fun to try and pull her, which he did. Mate 1 was upset, but that's beside the point. When they got back, mate 2 was getting it on but was "suffering" due to alcohol and couldn't get it up. So they left it for a while. Try again an hour later, again with no success. So they left it. A while later, mate 2 wakes up with a useable erection, and wakes they lucky lady up to celebrate. She asks if he has any condoms. He doesn't, but there is a pack in our bathroom. Off he trots to get one, where he suffers alcoholic curse two - the farts. Only, mid way through, he detects a change in pitch. And consistency. Shit everywhere. It takes him so long to clear up, girl goes back to sleep and nothing ever happened. Incidentally, mate 1 never laughed so much.

Apologies for length, apparently its girth that matters
(animal252 last activated his kitten hammer on, Tue 17 Jul 2007, 11:24, Reply)