* PFFT *I've been pretty farty all week, but 2 large helpings of sausage and lentil stew last night have really tipped things over the edge. I swear you can see these ones.
I'm here at work trying to hold them in so I (a) don't have to keep nipping to the loo like a madman and (b) don't gas half the office, but it's becoming increasingly difficult. I might rupture something if I'm not careful.
Tell us all about your own fartiness.
(
chthonic, Fri 13 Jul 2007, 14:01)
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Love farts.When I was young and agile I perfected the art of ever-so carefully climbing onto the bed, standing astride my girlfriend’s head, then slowly and carefully bending my knees thus lowering my foul arse towards her head.
Keeping my voice calm, not laughing in case I gave the game away, I would softly call her name , peeping down at her so I could see when she opened her beautiful blue eyes……and just as she registered that she was staring at my balloon knot, unleash a gust of fetid beery fart right on target, before leaping out of the way as she swung her vicious claws at my dangling nut-sack, often missing me by mere millimetres.
In time, as the relationship developed, I realised that if I stood on the duvet cover her arms would be trapped, giving me precious seconds to squeeze out the last dregs and escape before my pods got knocked into orbit.
I do miss her.
(, Tue 17 Jul 2007, 20:23, Reply)
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